The Sportster: Dumbasses + Motorcycle = Hurt

One of my greatest fears, above dying alone, is laying my bike down. I can picture all sorts of nasty scenarios, none of them end well. I even have nightmares about it. But my biggest mistake was admitting I had this fear to D. He’s now determined to get me over it, and it started today with out first “safety” lesson. I use the term safety very, very, loosely!

“We are going to lay it down real slow. It won’t be running and you won’t be moving. We are going to tip it over so you can learn how to get out from under it, how to tip it over; all that stuff.” He said as we stood in his driveway with a couple of our friends.

“D this doesn’t sound like a good idea.” I said as I tried to avoid it.

“Ah you are going to be just fine, we are all here.” Toby said.

“You are going to have to do it at some point.” Tennessee chimed in.

I shook my head, “no. Fuck no.”

After 30 minutes of arguing with D, Toby, and Tennessee I finally relented. Suddenly as the bike was laying on me I remembered what he had told me when he gave me the lessons, “I’m not a very good teacher.” I agreed with him.

Of course the dumbass, no I should say dumbasses, didn’t keep me from getting hurt. Once the bike got to a certain point the boys couldn’t keep gravity from it smacking me hard into the driveway. I have a developing bruise on my leg and shoulder, my hand has a couple of cuts from the concrete, and I don’t feel any better about tipping the damn bike over! As a matter of fact I think my fear is worse then it was before.

I did learn something from this all, don’t let dumbasses handle your motorcycle!