I had wanted to call D. To tell him what had happened, but I
knew if I did that he’d hang up the phone, never answer it for me again, and
make my bike disappear. I knew better then to call D. There was my Momma, I
could always call her. But I figured she wouldn’t understand. Maybe she would,
but there wasn’t any sense in waking her up over this. There was my former best
friend, but she always managed to stab me in the back, I decide against her. I
landed on one of the girl’s from the archery club phone number. She’d be okay
to talk to, she’d understand everything. I paused as I dialed it, I need to
think about what had just happened, to really try and understand it in my head.
This morning when I woke I knew something awful was going
to happen, something bad. I got dressed and stumbled out the door for my run. About
the time I had gotten to the clearing that horrible feeling was even heavier. I
said a prayer as I ran, one I rely on heavily, “Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed
be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those
who trespassed against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from
Evil, for thine is thy kingdom, thy spirit, and thy glory. Amen”
I went about my daily routine, concentrating on other
things, wondering what horrible thing was going to happen today. Then I felt
it, a pain that doubled me over. I clutched the kitchen counter as the pain
subsided. It didn’t faze me, I have pain on a daily basis thanks to my trick
knee, but the pain was a pain I would later learned I shared with someone else.
Bowman, he laid his bike down this afternoon. And while it
may not have hurt him to bad physically it him hurt him emotionally, maybe more then he sees. His story is
his own; I don’t need to share it. But my heart hurts for him tonight. That
soft place is radiating with pain, as it did from the moment I first saw him
tonight and realized something was horribly wrong.
I hear that drunken words are sober thoughts. If nothing
else was answered tonight I can at least say I got that one last hug. It hurt
to know it’d probably not work out as I had hoped. He was not running to me
because he needed or wanted me specifically. He’d wanted someone to talk to,
and in his state anyone would do, he knew I had promised that piece of my heart
to him a long time ago. I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I don’t want
to build up hope and risk breaking my own heart this time. All I want is to
talk to Sonny… and to break 300 tomorrow!
One thing that’s been with me all night is what Bean’s had
told me, “Under the Protection of the Archer what you seek will find you.” I
can’t surpass it, it’s stuck on repeat.
Oh and that 14 month rule, it’s out the window.
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