Welcome to The New Life

When I first realized I was going to be going through a divorce I started the series The Road to a New Life. It was filled with my whining about my ex. My hurt feelings, and complaining about how hard it was to move forward. Ugh. But it did help me get through some really rough times, it was my outlet.

I've been separated and divorced now for six months. My life has completely changed in that short amount of time. I'm optimistic once again. I'm happy and full of life. The original, real, Beck is back, and here to stay.

So I decided that I would start a new series entitled, The New Life. I am also going to be adding a horse series entitled, From the Saddle, which will contain only adventures from the saddle and show ring. Both will be joining A Bowhunter's Legacy, which has pretty much taken over this blog, weekly.

So Let's Start of The New Life, right here and now!

A Month's Progress

There is always something about April that turns me upside down, it's like Topsy turvy month! When I was younger I always blamed it on the weather changes. In Nebraska the weather goes from winter to summer in about two days, but for some reason this April has been different. We are still getting small, insignificant, amounts of snow, and if you know anything about me it's that I hate snow. This year I'm thinking I can't blame my Topsy turvy emotions on the weather. Instead I know for sure what the problem is, major life changes.
I happy with my life changes. The original Beck is back. I've developed my outgoingness (yes I'm pretty sure I made that word up), happiness, and spirit for life once again. There was a period of about 14 days where I had reverted back into my old ways, mostly because of my ex and the fact that my bow isn't cooperating with me, but the morning I woke up and realized I wasn't happy was the morning I shut all of that down. Sure I'm still struggling with my bow, and im not sure ive made all the right decisions, but that doesn't mean it has to effect me so drastically.
The life changes were for the best. I really enjoy being happy again. I really know now that the only way I will ever be truly happy is if I make myself happy, I can't depend on someone else to do that for me. I've committed myself to continue on with my happiness and changes. I'm ready to move on, I've stopped questioning that fact, I am ready.

Welcome to the New Life, It's going to be an unforgettable ride!
Becks

Shooting Through the Pain

A couple of days ago I was in a horse accident. My horse went left and I rode him right, all the way to the ground. I smacked my head on the ground hard enough to make my nose bleed. If it hadn't been for my helmet I probably would have broke my head. I bruised my back and shoulders and am probably suffering from whip lash. I have a bruise the size of Texas on my back and another one the size of Rhode Island on my leg. I'll live of course, but it really shook me up. Even worse then some of the other accidents I've been in, simply because I fell on concrete.

I'm shooting back tension now, guess what you have to use to shoot back tension, your back muscles! Mine are currently bruised and throbbing with pain! Shooting through the pain is not impossible, it's just painful! I'm shooting 60 arrows a day right now, working my way up to 100. I've been really inconsistent as of late, let's blame that on my injury. Sounds like a plan.
My goals after the pain is gone is to consistently shoot back tension, and stop trigger punching. That may very well require a back tension release. As a matter of fact I'm pretty sure it will. With a back tension only release I can shoot a two or less inch group, with my current trigger I am shooting a six or greater inch group. That's inconsistency if you ask me.

If I could get rid of this target panic I'd be golden. Ugh, I guess I shouldn't worry to much, I've got time to get everything sorted out...

Becks

Pull, Pull, PULL!

I had my pro lesson up at Black Hills Archery today. It was great, my pro is a really great teacher and I walked away from my lesson with no frustration. He properly fit my bow to me and helped me work on my bow arm. I have been having a problem with dropping my arm, it took five shots and that was fixed. Then we moved on to the more difficult thing, back tension.
I must say I really like shooting back tension. It does make my muscles sore, but I'm hoping that once my muscles develop my back won't hurt so bad. So now I need to invest in a reliable back tension release, with a safety.
Right now I'm not so worried about where I am hitting. I'm worried about my form and pushing and pulling. I have to set myself up then close all conversations with myself and think, pull, pull, PULL! It works and I just love the surprised feeling, I'm not sure why but I do. Maybe it's because its not frustration!
Well I'm off to shop for a release. Any recommendations?
Becks

Season Close

The 3d season at my local club closed this past weekend. I shot three out of four sets of tournaments this year. I had a blast doing it, I learned a lot, and made some good friends. It was an up hill battle all the way, but I fought tooth and nail to get it done. I thought about quiting more then once, but I fought with myself to keep going. It helped to have encouragement by those new friends of mine.

I've got a couple of months before the season starts again, which means I have a lot of time to sort my shooting technique out. C taught me to do what's right by me. So I intend to shoot and shoot and shoot some more until I get consistent. If that means 40 arrows every single day, then that is what it means.

There are several hunting trips planned for me this year. I'm pumped about all of them, but I do need to build confidence in myself. I feel like if I walk into the hunting trips without being prepared and being the best shooter I can possible be by then, well then I've not only let myself down but I've let everyone pulling for me down too.

So I've set some goals for myself to accomplish by the end of summer.
I want to have a consistent draw and anchor. No more changing anchor points every shot.
I want to be able to have a grip on the bow that doesn't inhibit it from shooting the best it possibly can.
I also want to be shooting paper at 20, 30, 40, and 50 yards.

My goals for next season? Well I haven't set any yet. I'm just focusing on the next couple of months. But seriously I HAVE to get my act together...

The Jump

Yesterday was a beautiful day, it actually felt like spring! A feeling I have been longing desperately for. The beautiful day enabled me to get a little riding done. With the help of Jase I set up a small course with low jumps. I warmed Sweet Cheeks up and focused myself. All my rambling worries and thoughts drowned in concentration.
I moved the gray into a canter and focused harder on what I wanted to do. I counted rhythmically in my head, one, two, three. Up. I stood in my stirrups as the gray jumped over the bars. Happiness, relief, and joy flooded my body. I had to stop the gray to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his thick neck and breathed horse.
He chomped hard on the bit, wondering why we had stopped mid course. Wrapped tightly in joy I was unaware I had alarmed Jase. He touched my leg, "are you okay." I sat up in my stirrups. "Uh huh. I'm just over whelmed with joy."
Jase looked at me funny. I paused, "It's a feeling I can't explain." I looked out across the meadow and watched the meadow larks play in the grass. "It's a feeling that everything is right in the world."
He smiled, "I understand. I've watched you struggle and I am happy you are finally happy."
"Thank you." I whispered. He smiled and walked back to where he had been sitting. I watched the birds a little bit longer and melded once again with my horse.

I plan to get back on the jumper circuit this summer. I have the perfect opportunity and I no longer feel depressed about riding. I've made some new friends here who all ride. I've made connections with people on the jumper circuit out here. I'm going to go for it and not let me inhibitions hold me back. I've got talent, or so I've been told, and it'll be a shame to let it all go to waste.
I'd forgotten how much I really enjoy jumping...
Becks

What Shooting Taught Me About Myself

First off I wanted to share my tournament results. I didn't break my personal best, but I did break 200 both days, I'm extremely happy. Friday night I shot a 202 and on Saturday I shot a 222. I quickly learned what is making me jump my scores, it's the team I shoot with. When I shoot with the guys who help me with the yardage, watch my shoots, help me correct improper form, and tell me what a great shot I just made; when in fact I felt great about the shot. Then I jump my score. Positive thinking equals positive shooting.

I've decided on trying a back tension release. The shooter, C, whom I've been watching and shooting with the last couple of tournaments recommended one of them. I've watched C shoot for the last couple of shoots and today I finally asked for his help, and guess what he's set me straight. He taught me to do what is right for me and not worry about proper form. If I can hit paper at twenty yards with an open hand and back tension, then that's what I need to do. He's right of course, and I already knew it. But it took me so so long to recognize it.
I learned about myself in these last two shoots. I've learned that positive thinking really influence me. I've learned to listen to my gut. But most of all C taught me that I can stand up for myself and shoot however I damn well please!
So I guess I'm not going to let anyone, except myself, change who I am. I'm still going to take my pro lesson, just because I want to hear what he has to say. I mean I'm still open to suggestions and infact I LOVE advice but I'm not going to let anyone FORCE me to change how I shoot. I do believe Sonny told me that once, "Don't let anyone change the way you shoot. You are a world class shooter, don't lose confidence in yourself." I've spent to long letting others dictate to me how to shoot. I've spent to long letting others dictate how I live my life. But through shooting recently I've developed a spine and I intend to keep it.
My confidence is high, I don't intend to let it be broken again. The real me is back!!!
Becki

No Improvement

I'm still stuck in a rut. A deep deep rut. This weekend I spent six hours shooting. There was no improvement. Even after all the repairs to the bow. So I've bit the bullet, I made an appointment for a pro lesson up at Black Hills Archery in Rapid City South Dakota. Its a drive, that's for sure. But It HAS to be done, I have to figure out my problem.
I know one lesson isn't a guarantee that all my problems will be solved, but hopefully my instructor will be able to tell me what I'm doing wrong and tell me how to fix it. I've heard rave reviews about him, I hope he's as good as the say. This may be the make it or break it point. I'm tired of struggling, I just want mild improvement!

This weekend I'm shooting the season closer here at the range. I know I shouldn't be competing, but I have to, I can't help myself. Miss Abbie and Chief will be shooting with us. I'm really excited for her, she's a lot of fun. I've helped her get back into shooting and it makes me happy to see her hitting the bulls eye right off the bat, even though I have nothing to do with it. She's a natural and I am soooo happy she's gotten back into it!
There is talk about starting a women's league next year. I think it's a great idea and I hope we can recruit more women to shoot with us. Here I am talking about the future, I guess I'm not completely ready to give up, I'm just close...
Becks

That Explains A LOT!

When I went from shooting half an inch of the paper at sixty yards to shooting two inches off the paper I was very mad. I figured since the arrow was hitting low I was dropping my arm. When I went from shooting dead on to shooting left at thirty yards I was even more mad. I figured I was torquing the bow.
When I went from dropping and to the left back to wall shoots I was furious. And then the light at the end of the tunnel struck me like a train. MC was examining my bow, figuring something had gone wrong. Sure enough the cams were out of time. He went to reset the cams and realized that the cams weren't properly installed. So he fixed it.
I shot six arrows out of it after he repaired it. Paper all the way, dead center. The true test will be Thursday when I shoot foam once again. We shall see but so far I am relieved to find that it wasn't really me all along!!! Wish me luck I'm hoping to have solved my current laments!
I still intend to spend the summer on a blank bale, making my form top notch. I really want to shoot the Cheyenne triple crown, but I'm going to have to be a lot more consistent to do that. I have a new shooting buddy, Miss Abbie. She's picked up shooting once again, a lot like I did, after a long vacation. She is already shooting dead on at 20 and 30 yards. She'll be ready for the last shoot of the season, and I am I really looking forward to having her there with me, she's a blast!!!
As for lessons, the Big D assures me he'll teach me a thing or two when he gets here. I hope so, cause hes the best I know!
Becks

Lost and Found

I went through my tack trunk this morning. I hadn't been in it for probably two years. I keep my show equipment in it. I rummaged around looking and inspecting each piece, making sure it was all okay for this years season.
I sat in the newly green grass and enjoyed the smell of leather and horse sweat. A cool breeze blew through my fleece coat, but it didn't bother me, the sun warmed my back. I smiled as I remembered all the memories I had made. I thought of all the twists and turns I had been on through all of this.
When I got to the bottom of the tack trunk I found a lone ribbon pressed firmly against the plastic box, a photograph attached to it. DW stood next to me beaming ear to ear. My horse was mid yawn as I cringed in the saddle.
I fought back tears as I thought of the day. It was they day I knew he really did love me as his own. I had been thrown from my saddle in the middle of the show. My back ached hard as I remounted and finshed the class. I of course didn't win, I placed five out of five. But DW was proud of me none the less. I remember what he said to me, "That's what real cowgirls do. They get back up and finish. I'm proud of you baby girl."

I tucked the picture and ribbon into my coat pocket and crammed the tack back into the trunk. I stood up shoved it into the tack room and walked back to the house. I paused mid way as it suddenly struck me, it was his birthday.
I pulled the picture from my pocket one last time. I smiled again as I thought about the day. I looked up at the sky. "I miss you too." I whispered. The breeze softened a little. I smiled again and lingered a little longer.
Becki

The Wake

"Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back"

I thought that specific line from Florence and the Macines' song Dog Days are Over fit so perfectly for this post. I thought, while I was struggling through my divorce that the wake would be the worst part. But so far it hasn't been. Sure I've gotten into at least one mess in two weeks, but I've quickly remedied the situation.
But like Florence says the Dog Days are over. My life isn't miserable anymore. I don't lay in bed and pray that I don't have to get up. Most mornings I bounce out of bed and head to work, where I spend my time building friendships and relationships with my customers. I've made so many new friends and immersed myself into the Archery life.

The enjoyment of living has started to come back. Of course I'm not saying everyday is perfect, but everyday brings challenges for me to over come. I love the thrill of a challenge. I'm living my life one day at a time. I'm breathing every breath and thinking about every moment.

God has given me a chance to make my life my own. He's guided me to this very point in time and he'll continue to guide me further. The reasons for my divorce are my own, God lead me to this answer. The morning I watched the doe walk away from her buck I knew what He meant. When I asked for the answer He gave it to me. I've asked for a lot of guidance from him, and when I listen I get what I've asked for. When I don't listen is when I get myself into a mess.

There is something I want really badly. I've wanted it for awhile, but I've been extra patient. I'm thinking I'm going to have to continue to be extra patient with it. Which is fine because that is what God wants. He's teaching me a lesson.

My friends have been quizzing me about what I want in a potential boyfriend. It gives me pause. I have a list made out in my head, but I have to think about how flexible I am with it. Curious? Alright I'll show you the list.
1. An outdoorsman, Rifleman, bowman, or Horseman
2. Reliable
3. Generous and considerate
4. Excellent with kids. Wants a family of his own eventually
5. Patient
6. This one is a biggie and is non flexible, faithful!

There's the list. How flexible am I? I'm not sure, but number six is non flexible, I'll never go through what I've been through ever again.
In the meantime the wake hasn't been to bad. There haven't been any tidal waves, and I'm not anticipating any. I'm looking toward the future. But most of all I'm happy. After all the Dog Days are over.
Becki

Love the Spring

Its been really nice weather for the last two weeks. Things have been moving forward at such a quick pace that I've hardly had time to breath. I've been shooting my bow a lot. I need to be practicing as much as I can, next week I'm going turkey hunting with the Big D in the Pine Ridge. I've also been shooting my handgun a lot, I have concealed handgun class coming up in May, I'm pretty excited for that. But most of all I've been riding a lot.
Today it was cold and windy with a little bit of snow but a close friend of mine came down to ride today so we rode. Boo boo is becoming buddy sour. It's going to take a lot of time and work to get him to settle back down. But right now I've got to many irons in the fire. So he may be going to a friend so he can work him for me. Ugh, I absolutely hate not being able to train my horses everyday. This summer I've lined up help to train all of the horses in the North pasture. That totals twelve. It's going to be a busy summer I can already tell.

I've been working with the archery club for a couple of months now. I've come up with some ideas I need to run past the president of the club but I'm really excited because I think he'll like the ideas too. One is to add a Ladies shoot to the season and possible add another shoot to the season. I also want to line up a end of season party for the club. My hopes are that it will attract some new members and keep the club growing and running.
In the mean time I've been shooting great. Paper all the way. We shot 3D this last week. I did pretty well. Only hitting the wall 4 times out of 20 was pretty exciting to me. They were mostly fives, but at least they were foam!!! I'm going to keep working hard. After the season ends I intend to go back to the blank bale and work all summer until deer season in September to get myself to setup the same way every time, and to make good shots right out of the box. Oh so much work. I really wish there was an archery coach close by. Maybe next time I'm in Omaha I'll have to line up a lesson. We'll see....
Becks