Like a Kid in a Candy Store

My arrows arrived this morning, they are absolutely gorgeous! M n CJ's Custom Arrows in Disputanta VA custom fletched them.
My kisser button and peep sight arrived also, I'm a little apprehensive about the peep sight, I'm not confident that it will work with my bow string. Hopefully MC will be able to help me get it setup.
Also in the mail was my Lancaster Archery Supply: Archer's Wish Book. I've already put together my wish list. Just like a kid in a candy store. The first thing on my wish list is a bow, but Lancaster doesn't sell the brand I want, its the Parker Sidekick Extreme. Next is the T.R.U Ball Pro Diamond Extreme release. The the HHA Optimizer Ultra 5500 sight. A Spot-Hogg Whammy Rest. A Doinker Chubby Hinter Stabilizer. I want to upgrade my target quiver to a Easton Elite Hip Quiver. And finally for the days I can't get to the range a Morrell Target.
I'm thinking this wish list is going to cost me a lot of money! But I intend to buy these one at a time, when I have spare cash, which won't be for awhile since I'm still trying to get my divorce settled. Sigh that's life! Patience is a virtue I tell you!!!
Anyway just had to share my wish list and show off my new arrows.

Coming Together

Right now is a pivotal part of my life. I’m going through a brutal divorce and trying ever so hard to make it on my own. My very few pennies are pinched as tight as possible. Therefore I don’t have money to sink into my passion of archery.

I have a very small, tight knitted, circle of archery friends. I’ve been touched by the generosity that has radiated from them. The gentleman letting me borrow his extra bow hardly knows who I am, but he trusts and supports me, “I’ve been through a divorce before, I understand. Maybe this bow will help you get through those dark days.” MC lets me borrow his release and shoot his extra arrows, and let me tell you I’ve been really hard on his arrows! The Big D has always supported me; he helped me buy my recurve set-up, and now he’s bought me a new dozen Victory V3 custom fletched arrows and a couple other small accessories.

The love I hold for my friends is tremendous. And I have to say that the support I’ve got from them is like no other support I’ve ever gotten before. If I’m having a rough day I just call one of them up and they are there. It doesn’t matter how rough a week I have, if my friends are at the range then nothing else matters.

I’m a big believer in Karma and paying it forward. My friends have done so many things for me, expecting nothing in return. I want to pay their kindness forward. I don’t know how I will do it, but I will. But I do know that I want to thank each and every one of them for coming together to get me through this rough time. My appreciation is deeper then you’ll ever know.

Love,

Missy B

The Doinker

I've either been around the guys to long  or not enough... I'll give you proof... and you can decide...
MC "Beck, you should get a Doinker, it'll really improve your accuracy."
Me: "I don't need a weenie to shoot. Thank you very much."
MC: "Um a Doinker is a stabilizer."
Me: "Oh..."
My girlfriends and I used to call weenies, doinkers. (Boy I sure hope there aren't any kids that read my blog) But sure enough it really is a brand of stabilizer, Doinker, and here I thought he was giving me a hard time for being a girl. Silly boys they haven't learned that bows are for girls! No I'm just kidding, anyone of them can easily out shoot me.
I shot horribly Thursday night, a 155. I know, it was awful. My little eight year old, well she really isn't mine but I'll claim her, out shot me by 100 points!!! Ugh I've really got to get it together. I have a new set of dozen arrows, the Big D ordered me, coming in the mail. But as hard as I've been on my old aluminums I'm a little apprehensive to shoot these new ones. If I could keep them outta the wall and the wood it wouldn't be so bad. I don't want to have to call the Big D and tell him I ruined the arrows he gifted to me, it'd probably hurt his feelings!
Anyway I'm going to practice up a little more, I'm going to start shooting on Tuesdays also. It's usually the kids night at the range, but the guys recognize how much practice I really need! I'm not ashamed to admit it that I really need A LOT of practice.
I picked up my recurve today for the first time in a few weeks. I can shoot it really well, mostly 8s and 10s, but for some reason that compound throws me for a loop. I've relaxed into the shot and everything, I just don't know whats wrong and it's a little frustrating. The Big D also ordered me a kisser button and peep sight, we're hopeful those will help me reach the same anchor point every time. Okay it's a lot frustrating. But no matter what I'm not giving up, eventually I'll get to where I need to be, it'll just take lots of practice and time.
Missy.B

Settling Into the Shot

Ever since my big ol' bow bruise I've been working extra hard to settle into my shots. A fellow archer showed me a little trick to beating the "trigger happies". It really works and I am now starting to settle and relax deep into my shots, which also improves my accuracy. I'm now shooting a fully loaded Golden Eagle, borrowed from one of the guys until I can afford one of my own. I'm so lucky to have such great friends, they really take care of me, Thanks Guys!

It's a really nice bow, even if it isn't a parallel limb. I couldn't be happier with the way I preform with it. I still need to clean up my shot, last Thursday I was still all over the paper. The problem stems from my bow arm. I'm not entirely sure what's going on, I suspect it's still muscle weakness, but for some reason just as I get ready to release my bow arm twitches, not every time, about two out of five shots. I guess I should voice my concerns and ask the guys to watch me shoot, maybe they'll have some idea and help me improve it.

In the meantime I'm enjoying shooting. I've had a lot of fun down at the range, the guys are sometimes the comic relief in my melodrama. I look forward to every Thursday, because no matter how horrible the week was shooting just melts away the stress. I'm all set up for the 3D shoot in February, if I get proficient I may even travel with some of the guys to a couple of shoots in neighboring towns. But I want to shoot my home range first before I embarrass myself somewhere else.

Well that's all from the range for this week!
Missy.B

Missing an Archer

I stepped up to the line, knocked my arrow, and clipped my release on. I took a heavy breath then drew back. My heart sunk heavily into my chest. I settled into the shot, aimed, and released the string. The arrow hit the target hard, the muffled smack echoed throughout the range.
I knocked my second arrow. My heart broke heavily in my chest. Tears welled as I clipped the release on, I drew back and settled into the shot. I aimed, took a heavy breath and then released the string. MC looked across the line at me. Our cheerful banter had stopped suddenly as the pain hit me. "What's wrong Doll?"
I fought harder to keep the tears in my chest as I knocked my third arrow. "I'm just missing Sonny today." He nodded as I clipped on my release and drew back. I settled into the shot, trying to blink away the fuzzy tears. I released the arrow then turned from the line and walked away without looking where the arrow had hit. The other archer's eyes following me. I settled my bow onto the bow stand and walked across the room and disappeared into the forest of the 3D range.

I sunk into a chair at the forty yard line. I could hear the guys whispering, but I ignored them. Tears dripped down my face and onto my knees as I leaned forward and buried my face in my hands. I sobbed hard as heartache radiated throughout my body.
Thirty minutes later the guys were half way through league. I returned to the target range and stood by the bow stand. "You okay now?" MC asked as he laid his bow down on the stand. I nodded as I starred straight on.
He turned to see what I was starring at. A perfect group of three directly in the center of the target. "Did you move those?" I asked.
He shook his head. We stood silent for a moment, then he laid his hand on my arm where the arm guard she gave me was braced and whispered, "She never left you."
I stood quietly admiring the group, it was my first perfect shot, relief flooded my body. It was like a warm embrace, the feeling that she was and is still with me, no matter how hard it gets, she'll always be here.
Missy.B

Work First, Play Later

This morning I've got lots of things to get done. Buzz and Ash are coming to help. I'm incredibly grateful to them, I'm not sure I could make it through whats coming if it weren't for them. I always hate moving, and this one is just going to suck.
I didn't get any riding in yesterday, I'm hoping that we don't run out of time today so that we can get out for a nice long ride. I did have a really great day yesterday though, I didn't let anything bother me, I think I need to make more days like that! As a result of not letting anything get to me I was feeling really good down at the range, I couldn't settle into my shots though. I'm shooting with a borrowed release, unfortunately I'm just a touch trigger happy. I get halfway drawn and I'm already releasing the arrow, you should hear that bow twang and feel the string snap against my elbow! I'm just going to have to learn to settle into the shots!
This weekend is the 3D shoot. I'm a little nervous, I don't think I will be shooting. I've had a good look at the target set up, some of the shots are pretty complicated. I think I'll be better of as a spectator. I've heard of a bow that I could possibly borrow for the time being, lets hope that comes through.
Well I suppose I better get into gear, it's going to be an awfully long day. I'm just grateful to my friends for their help and support, you guys go above and beyond. It'll all work out, no matter what happens I'll be in a great mood tonight, because I get to go shooting!!!
Missy.B

Setting Up

This weekend marks a really important part of my life as an archer, my first 3D shoot. I'm overly excited, considering I never had the confidence in the past to shoot in one of these. I've practiced on the 3d animal targets before, but I've never scored a round. I know full well I won't win, but what does it hurt to try.

Yesterday afternoon was spent down at the range helping the guys clean up some of the targets. I learned how to recore a target, while it doesn't sound that exciting I had a lot of fun doing it, probably the most fun I've had in awhile! In the process I've made some more friends. I find it really intresting how easy it is to make friends when I put myself out there and leave fear behind me. Moving forwad is such an awesome feeling.

I'm going to be practicing extra hard this week, I'd really love to clean up my shot before the shoot. But I've also got a lot of things going on this weekend. So we'll see how much time I actually get in.

Missy.B

Get a Goin'

"Comeon girly get a goin'!" Bee hollered across the arena.
I turned in the saddle to face her. "You tell this ol' plow horse of yours to get a goin'! It ain't me!"
She frowned, "Well if you can't ride him then how you goin to show him?" Her Texas accent ran deep in her words, often I found myself trying to duplicate it, for what reason I don't know.
I ignored her and dug my spurs into the horse's side. He lurched forward into the canter. It was the wrong lead, I didn't care, he was cantering. Mid-arena he decided he was tired of the wrong lead, to much work, and flung himself through a flying lead change into the correct lead.
"There you go girly!" She hollered. I ground my teeth down and flung him into the first jump. I cringed as I heard the rail hit the ground. "Aw comeon now get your head in it!"
I ignored her as I approached the next jump. I softly rose into two point, keeping my hands out of his mouth. He eased into the jump and cleared it. Bee hooted and startled him. He lurched to the side, I pushed him back to where I wanted. I ground my teeth harder and rose into my stirrups. I assumed when I didn't hear a thud we were clear. I asked for a lead change, but instead he flung his head  and front end into the air. I lost balance and fell to the side, my foot caught in the stirrup and I drug through the dirt as the plow horse careened around the arena.
My leg stung, my knee ached, but most of all the dirt burned the skin on my back. Eventually he stopped. I laid in the dirt starring up at the arena ceiling. The little finches in the rafters starred down at me, threatening to poop on me at any moment. My foot fell from the stirrup sans my boot. I groaned hard as the pain shot through my body.
"You hurt?" She asked as she walked up to me, her weathered hands in her pockets.
"Well I'm not sure." I groaned as I reached up to unbuckle my helmet. My shoulders ached as I did it. I cringed and fought back tears.
"Need the medics?" She asked casually as if this happened everyday.
"No." I mumbled as I struggled to sit up, trying to avoid putting pressure on my legs.
"You going to be able to walk?" She asked. I looked up at her and shrugged, pain shot through my body. The plow horse snorted then sighed and relaxed cocking his hind right foot.
"He's all warmed up now." She joked.
I laughed as I tried to rub the pain away. I sat in silence for awhile. Never in my career had I ever been so close to death. Tears started to come.
"No you don't!" Bee yelped, "Get your butt back into that saddle."
I swallowed my tears. "Help me up." Pain shot through my body as I stood up, it surged harder as I swung into the saddle.
"Get a goin'" Bee whispered, her old blue eyes soft, as soft as I had ever seen.

That day I learned to ride through the pain. I learned to always get back into the saddle. Recently I've learned that lesson also applies to when life throws you. It hurt bad at first like the pain I felt that afternoon when I took the fall, but now the pain isn't surging, it's pretty mild, like a paper cut when you rub salt into it. Eventually there won't be any pain at all. I'm looking forward to those days, those days are close, really close, as a matter of fact I've experienced those days, happy days.

And Bee, I really hated you that day, your nonchalant attitude about the situation. I really hated you because you made me get back into the saddle. I got over it. Now I see what you were really doing to me, preparing me for life. Thanks Bee! I owe you one!
Missy. B

My Goals for 2011

This year I have three factors in my life that I want to set goals for. My horse career, archery, and well being.
Here are my goals for 2011:
Horse Career:
My life long dream has been to compete in the Olympics. While I know full well I won't make the 2012 team it doesn't hurt to start working towards my ultimate goal. I intend to compete at the highest level possible with Sweet Cheeks and work Boo boo into the big time.
I also want to set aside more time for my unbroke colts. They are only getting older and the longer they spend in the pasture untouched the wilder they get. I've enlisted help Pecos Bill and a new bronc rider Brian, AKA Buzz. I've got enough help now that it should be really easy to get these colts started.
Finally I want to grow my horse ally circle. I would love to have a group of friends to go on trail rides with. It's always nice to have horsey friends to bounce ideas about training off.

Archery:
I've been shooting for three years now and I have never been this motivated and serious. Two years ago I made a promise that I won't break. I promised Sonny that I'd learn how to bow hunt. Well I went bow hunting for the first time last year, I didn't get to take any shots, therefore I didn't get my buck. This year I want to get my buck, not only for myself but for Sonny.
I also want to improve my scores and start competing in shoots. I need to improve as an archer. Of course it would help to have new equipment, but like I've said before I'm pretty proud of the legacy I'm continuing. I want to compete this year. I've made friends down at the range, I'm not going at it alone, they would support me no matter how big of a fool I make of myself. Out here I've found nothing but support, and I am grateful for that!
Lastly I want to build up my confidence so that I'm not so worried about what other shooters are thinking. I want to be confident in my skills!

My Well being:
I'm getting a fresh start, I'm getting to move away from the bad, my future is in my control. I've already made some progress, I've dropped my baggage and found my inner peace. I want to keep this forward motion. The road is going to get rougher. But I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I foresee myself happy. I see myself living my life to the fullest, doing what I love.
A lot of my single friends want to find "the one" this year. They turn to me and ask me if I want to find "the one". Here's what I have to say about that. I'm going through a divorce. Emotionally I'm not stable enough to find "the one". I'm not stable enough right now to even worry about dating. I intend to live my life to the fullest this year, and if along the way "the one" finds me, great he'll have to be patient. But if he doesn't find me this year, that's okay too, I'll worry about finding him next year, 2012.

I just want to be happy, and I'm hoping that all these little goals will help me reach my happy place. I've heard good things come to those who wait . . . well I'll wait for a little bit, but pretty soon I'm going to get restless, I want to meet my goals

Missy.B

My Happiness Won't be Broken

Remember my new years resolution? "Don't let anyone or anything break your happy." I reached my inner peace yesterday. I've made it to the point where nothing is going to bother me. I'm Zen, as my best friend would put it. My happy, my heart, will not be inflicted pain by anyone else.
So all this trying to make me mad, trying to break my happy, well it isn't going to work. Other people can do what they feel they need to do, I just have one warning, Karma she's a bitch!

My attitude, the way I face the world and people in it, effects my happiness. I've decided I'm not going to be a bitch about this. Others can be mean, but I won't. That doesn't mean I'm going to lay down and let them walk all over me. But my new attitude towards this situation is I will not be a bitch just to be one. No matter how hard others try they won't get my goat.

It's time to let it all go and let the healing process begin. My heart is healing, I'm protecting it, it won't be hurt again, no matter what anyone else chooses to do. I'm going to have rough days. But it won't be cause by anyone else. I've got great friends and a great family who love me unconditionally and they are in my corner, picking me up with every blow and shoving me back into the ring. I'll get through this no matter how hard the road is.

Today I'm happy, tomorrow I'll be happy, a week from now I'll be happy. Because I've choose to heal, I've choose to move on with my life, I choose my happiness.

Missy. B

"No matter how dull, or how mean, or how wise a man is, he feels that happiness is his indisputable right." ~ Helen Keller

Trotting Away

Boo boo let out a squeal as I asked him for a lope. Three quick bucks and he settled into himself. He foamed out of the mouth and moved forward easily. His ears twitched listening for whinnies from the herd behind us. He pushed hard against the bit, I stood in my stirrups and let him surge into a gallop. Snow flying underneath his feet.

The cold wind whipped the tears from my eyes and back across my cheeks. I snuffed as I tried to stop crying. Freedom never felt so good. Boo boo slowed back into a canter. He was more relaxed and wasn't listing behind him anymore. We loped a little farther then slowed into an extended trot.

I took a deep breath as we hit the edge of the lake, I stopped him to enjoy the view. The cold wind stung my lungs. My head was clear, I was in the moment not worried about anything else.  I watched the deer across the lake, playing enjoying the afternoon sun. Boo boo watched them too, alert and keen to their every movement. Tears still flowed from my eyes, I cried for 15 minutes, then I let everything go. I dropped my baggage right there by the lake, and trotted away from it.

Today was a beautiful day. Today I left everything behind and moved forward into my new life. Today Boo boo and I finally bonded. Today I learned to trust him. Today I made it all alright in my heart.

The sun shine tomorrow will be beautiful. The air will be fresher. My eyes will see the world clearly. I'll move forward without hesitation. My new life is here, it's been here, but now I've embraced it. I can't change the past, but I can improve the future.



April 2010


Missy. B

Bent Arrows

I've been shooting bow and arrow for three years now. I picked it up because it really makes me feel like a strong and powerful woman. The sport of Archery isn't filled with a lot of women, it's a male dominated sport. So when I go down to the range I'm usually the only female there, which is fine with me, but sometimes there is that one guy who has a problem with a female shooter.
I never encountered this problem in Omaha. My instructor was a woman, she and her son owned the range, women shooters were respected there. She taught me a lot about how to be a woman in a male dominated sport. These past couple of weeks I've used her knowledge down at the range, I've modeled myself after her, and it's worked! I have finally broke down the barrier between me and the only guy who had a problem with a woman shooter. I finally showed him that I can handle it, I can be a bowhunter, I'm not just another wanna be.
Well now that I've finally stepped up and proved myself I've really got to work hard to keep the respect. I've been shooting every day for the last couple of weeks. Not only is it a stress reliever but it's also practice. I'm consistently hitting the bullseye, even with bent arrows. But now here I am ready to take it to the next level and I am stuck. My out dated equipment, my antique, doesn't preform as nicely as a new parallel limb bow. My bent aluminum arrows are logs that fly down the range at half the speed of the newer carbon arrows. I'm still shooting with my fingers, which really doesn't bother me, but now that MC has let me shoot with his thumb release I feel that one would only improve my accuracy. In all honest my outdated equipment doesn't really bother me. It's the way my grandfather shot. It's his bow and arrows, and when I'm shooting them I feel a little bit proud that he bestowed the honor upon me. I get to keep his legacy alive.
In time, once I have a good job, and my debt is paid off, I'll be able to afford that new bow. The Parker Sidekick extreme, in pink camo of course. I'll have new carbon arrows that travel at the speed of sound. I'll have the new thumb release and five pin fiber optic sight. But for right now what I've got is a legacy. Probably the only one still being shot, I've got a Jennings Black Lightning and arrows that were made in a shop in North Dakota and given as a gift to my grandfather. I've become part of his legacy... and I'm pretty proud of it! Not only am I a woman archer, I'm a woman shooting a bow that most men gave up on.
Maybe one day you'll see me on tv on one of thoose hutning shows taking the best shot of my life. Maybe one day little girls just learning how to shoot will model themselves after me. Maybe, just maybe I'll have a legacy to pass on to my grandkids.

Missy. B