Silly Advice from Friends

Every once in awhile my friends give me gems of advice, they are usually so great it's hard to keep them to myself! So here we go, a new series that will appear from time to time, just for my friend's silly advice.

"Don't shave your legs, It'll make you not want to have sex." ~K.O.

This little gem came the day before I had a date. She made me laugh and now I carry it with me all the time, eventually I'll pass it on to some other friend and she'll roll her eyes just like I did. Oh and if you were wondering what my response was, "to late I already shaved."  Sorry that was probably to much information. Blunt honsety, that's what you'll get from me!

Becks

The New Life: The Games end NOW

My feet hit the pavement hard, my red hair whipped in the wild wind, music blared through my ears, my lungs stung hard, my calves ached with pain, but I pushed myself harder. I picked up the pace and pushed for the last quarter mile.

I reached the top of the hill that marks two miles. I slowed and sunk to my hands and knees, panting, barley able to breathe. Through the gasps for air tears streamed down my face. Worries about work and family flooded me. I sobbed harder and sucked cold air into my lungs.

I stayed on my knees in the gravel until I caught my breath. I sat down and looked out into the valley. The cows were grazing peacefully, unaware of any troubles in life. I was still crying, but my anxiety medicine had kicked in. I took deep breaths and relaxed. I listened to the wind whipping through the short grass. I could smell the alkaline lakes in the valley.

I closed my eyes and let the sandhills soothe my soul. I replayed recent, happy, memories in my head. I relaxed, the tears subsided, and so did the fear. “It’s all just a game.” I could hear him say, “Just a game.” I laughed, “Yes your right.” I mumbled then stood up and wiped the gravel off of me.

The walk home seemed longer then the run. My body begged for mercy. I pushed on and finally made it home. I went straight to the tub and sunk into a bubble bath. I relaxed and stopped worrying.  I’m not entirely sure what relaxed me. Maybe it was the happy memories. Maybe it was knowing that my safe harbor is very close.

I did decide that no matter what I’m not going to let people fuck with me anymore. I’ve learned over the past couple of weeks that you can’t carry work home with you. It has to stay at work. I’m making an effort to leave it there. I’m also making an effort to improve in my job. We will see how it goes. But no matter what I’m not going to let people mess with me anymore. I’m done playing those games, life is too damn short…

From the Saddle: Cute Undies Aren't for Horseback Riding

I learned a couple of lessons from my horse this weekend. First I learned that if he says the cinch isn’t tight, he’s probably right. After I finally got the cinch tight and got into the saddle I learned that if he says the mud is too deep, it probably is, and lastly I learned that cute undies are not necessarily proper for horseback riding.

I saddled Sweet Cheeks up in the English saddle and got ready to mount up. I use a mounting block due to the fact that my knee can’t support all of my weight while swinging up. Sweet Cheeks kept side stepping and dancing around, something he has never done, something he was specifically trained not to do. I cursed at him and finally got him to stand still. I put my foot in the stirrup and swung up, my saddle slipped and I found myself on the ground. He stood looking at me like I was an absolute idiot. “I told you so.” I could almost hear running through his head, “silly girl, you never listen.”

After I fixed everything and finally got mounted we worked our way across the meadow. The lake is swollen with water which spills out into the meadow turning it into a swamp. Usually there is a good crossing in the middle of the pasture, unfortunately it wasn’t this weekend. He danced and pranced and tried to avoid crossing. I pushed him on, daring him to find out what would happen if he didn’t. He set his head and trudged across the meadow. Mid way the mud got deep and he had to pull his feet higher out of the ground. He snorted and again I could hear, “I told you so silly woman.” I mumbled, “Yeah shut up.”

By the time I had finished riding I had the worst wedgie I’ve ever had. I learned that lesson without Sweet Cheeks comments. Forget the cute undies to ride in, they aren’t necessary! But at least I didn’t have underwear lines!

Becks

The New Life: Home Sickness

Today I find myself missing Omaha. The whole time I lived in Omaha I really wanted to be in Alliance. Now that I live in Alliance, my hometown, I find myself really wishing I lived in Omaha. Don’t get me wrong I’m fairly happy here. I have a good job that I enjoy most days and I live on the family ranch and ride my horses everyday. I can see the stars at night and watch the sunrise and set in the hills. I have great friends here. I’m happy, I posses inner peace, something that never existed within me in Omaha.

When I start to miss Omaha it’s usually because I’m missing someone or some place in Omaha. Right now it’s the girl I consider to be my best friend. She’s going through a really tough time. Her job has become really hard on her, she and her high school sweetheart broke up, she is now a single parent, and her mother is on her death bed. Kells got me through a lot in high school. I met her the day after we moved to Omaha. She became my confidant; the one I knew was always in my corner. If anyone can read me like a book, it’s her. I don’t have siblings, well except for Kells, she’s the closest thing to a sister I’ll ever have. I wish I could wrap her in a hug and reassure her she’s going to make it through. I wish her life would get easier. I wish I could be in Omaha right now just for her.

The place I miss most is the shooting range. I could drive to it on my sleep. I could shoot the range with my eyes closed. I can still hear Sonny’s laugh and smell her cigarettes. I can hear the arrows flying down range and the classic rock playing over the stereo. I can still picture most of the regulars and see F Street out the front windows.

The second place I miss is the horse barn in Elkhorn. I can still hear the sleeping horses and the sound of tack and buckles hitting the rails. I can hear Brenda providing orders to her clients down in the arena. I can smell the horses and feel the wood shavings against my skin. I can feel the breeze flow through the aisles and hear the tractor rumbling out in the paddocks. I can see Amy’s smile and her happy appy standing in the cross ties.

The last place I miss is home. My momma’s home was always my sanctuary. I can still feel the carpet between my toes and see the yard through the windows, sunlight streaming in warming the cockles of my heart and soul. I can feel the purest happiness as I snuggle on her couch and watch House or Ghost Hunters or Real Housewives. I can feel the sticky keyboard of the computer I did most of my homework on. I can smell dinner cooking in the oven. Happiness, pure happiness is what I feel the most.

What I miss the most about Omaha is the activity and the availability. If you want to go do something on the weekend, there’s something locally to do. If you break your bow or lose a piece of tack there is a store open. If you want to plant the most beautiful flower bed in town there is a nursery. Need to fix something in the house; well you’ve got a few home repair stores to choose from. Need a new rifle, there are six outdoor stores locally, you don’t even have to cross the river! And you feel like having a drink and going to gamble, well lets cross the bridge and waste the night at the casino.

I miss the events, the taste of Omaha, the farmers market, the art in the park. I miss the mounted police and the horse drawn wagons in old town. I miss people not knowing where my hometown is, “Alliance is that even in Nebraska?” I just miss Omaha.

I wish I could transplant a piece of Omaha right here to Alliance. I'd transplant Kells or bring Momma home for good. Maybe I'd bring the taste of Omaha here or even Shakespeare on the green. I'd bring old town here or Spaghetti works. Maybe the bow shop Woods and Waters or the tack store The Paddock. How about Funny Bone comedy club. I suppose that would never work. But I do have a small piece of Omaha with me, it's my Bellevue East t-shirt, guess I'll go put that on and see if it helps.

They say the only remedy for homesickness is to go home. Sometime soon I’ll have to pack my bags and escape for a few days. Escape back to the place that used to be the most dreaded place in the entire world. Would I move back? I dunno, am I ready to visit, hell yes… So watch out Omaha here I come!

Becks

The New Life: Momma

My momma is a world class woman. Of course almost everyone says that about their momma, cause most of the time its true. But my momma, she's special. She's done so much for me. She raised me on her own and turned me into a pretty great adult, or so I'd like to think. She led by example and always taught me what was right.
She's given me a lot of hope and advice throughout the years. When I was in my darkest days she pulled me through. She always has the right words to heal the wounds or make the happiness grow. Shes there for me no matter what. I love my momma for all the unconditional love she provides me.
It's nice to have someone so great in your corner. I just wish we lived closer because I miss her everyday.
Love you Mom, Happy Mother's Day
Rebecca

A Bowhunter's Legacy: Connection

I knocked my arrow, drew back anchored and settled into the shot. I focused on the target behind my pin and stopped wrestling it. I relaxed and started to push and pull. My trigger went off and I heard the arrow smack the target. I ignored where it had hit and drew again, following the same sequence. The trigger went off and I heard the arrow hit. Once again I drew, release the trigger and then settled my bow onto the bow stand. I walked down range expecting to see arrows all over the target, but instead I found a nice group. Three arrows level to center but a little to the left.
I smiled and relaxed into the rest of my shots. Some were good some were bad but I never held onto the shots, once they were out of my control I let them go and didn't worry about them. I shot so much better. I have finally made the connection in my head, being relaxed equals better shots.
I cased my bow and came home, happy with the improvement, but knowing full well the struggle isn't over yet. I still have some bad habits and I have to get over them, hopefully my pro will be able to help me with that.

Becks

The New Life: The Loss

My appearance to others has always been a struggle for me. In my head I was never thin enough or pretty enough. My hair was never right, my eyes weren't the right color, my smile never as beautiful as it should be. For a lot of years I dealt with criticism from my own family about my weight. Then this past January I committed to losing the weight. I had developed enough venom to really put myself into it 100 percent. Two people in specific gave me that push. One for a bad reason the other for a good.
So I dropped twenty pounds between January and March. I was pretty proud of myself. I felt great, I felt alive again. Then all of the sudden I fell off the wagon. I stopped working out, I blew the diet out the window, and I lost my venom.
Two weeks ago I heard some intriguing news through a friend. I let the news stew inside me for awhile, then like a rattlesnake I struck. I woke up one morning, earlier then normal, about 2:30, got dressed and struck out the door and down the road on a run. My calves burned, my lungs stung in the cold air, and the sweat grew cold under my hoodie. But I pushed myself for that mile. I pushed hard.
By the time I got back to the house at 3:30, I was exhausted. But I had chores to do and a shower to take. Through the pain in my calves, I felt great and happy. I went to work and had one of the best days. The energy pulsed through my body as I thought about getting back on the wagon. My goal for 50 pounds by May is out the window, but I'm thinking 50 total pounds by August is reachable.
I've developed a support system recently. People to help push me when I want to quit. It helps 110 percent to have someone in your corner. It makes a diet seem a little more bearable. So here we go, I've got the running shoes laced and the lettuce in the fridge, even though I'm not very excited about the lettuce. 50 pounds by August. It's a goal I'm not willing to let myself give up on. Because even though I might not be pretty in anyone else's eyes, I'm pretty in my own, no matter what.
Becks

Thanks Miranda for the picture. I had to use it in my blog because it is such a beautiful picture of me. Why? Because right there that smile is the real me and I haven't seen her in awhile.

From the Saddle: Spring Canter

As promised here is the new series From the Saddle!

This afternoon I spent some time in the saddle. It was a much needed break from my crazy life. Legend had spent the better part of the morning giving a new jumper a lesson. I decided that we both just needed a nice long canter through the hills, so we went.
I opened the gate, tacked him up, and away we went, into the hills. He settled nicely into a walk and then a trot. The wind had settled and there were big puffy clouds in the sky. I relaxed and took a deep breath of the fresh spring air. A pair of pheasants skittered through the grass and then finally flushed up into the sky. Legend's ears moved a little as he watched them, "it's alright." I crooned. He crested his neck and let a little crow hop out. "Alright lets go."
I asked for a smooth canter, he easily took it in stride and moved out. I settled into the saddle and smiled a little. My soul sung as we cantered across the meadow. I slowed him as we came to the wet spots. He settled easily and crested his neck. Mud flung up onto my jeans. The smell of fresh soil filled my lungs.
We worked our way across the meadow and road up into the soft hills. Then I really put him to work. I asked for a canter, he moved easily into it and cantered through the soft, thawed, dirt. "Easy." I crooned as we topped one hill and cantered down it. His gray mane floated in the wind.
Eventually I slowed him back down to a walk and pointed him towards home. I laid the reins across his neck and let him do the walking. There is no other horse on this planet I would trust as far as I trust him. Soon we reached the gate and eventually the hitching post. He waited patiently while I dismounted. I rubbed him down, actually brushed him, then let him lose back into the pasture where his mare stood waiting for him.
He found a soft patch of dirt and rolled. I sat on the mounting block and watched them for a long while. My heart was happy, I was happy, the world for that brief moment in time didn't matter to me. I watched him and his mare communicate with ear flickers. I figured he was telling her about the hard work I had just put him through.
Eventually time will come where I will be able to spend hours in the round pen and on the backs of my horses. Eventually my crazy life will allow me some peace. It might be soon, but then again it might not be. But if I can get two hours of peace a week, like I did today, well then everything is going to be just fine.
Becks