Today I took a drive to visit a friend of mine. Her real name is Susan, but we all call her Beans. How she got the nick name isn’t important. What is, is how I know her. We met through the Bordeaux Art Society. An art group I am a part of. I met her two years ago, she’s been with me through a lot, she’s the one I run to when I need some out of this world advice. She is one crazy woman, but that is what I love the most about her, she has answers I can’t get from anyone else.
Our conversation started as I sat across the table from her my coffee mug warmed in my hand. She’d gotten a little heavy handed with the Irish cream and I struggled through the sweetness. “So tell me.” She asked, “Why are you here?”
I sat back in my chair, “Come on Beans. I came to see you.”
“Bullshit.” She chuckled, “You only come when you need advice.”I sighed. “I suppose that’s an accurate assumption.” I took a hard swallow of the coffee, trying to make room for more so I could dilute it.
“Alright Becks, tell me.” She said with a straightforward smile.
I closed my eyes, “Remember that whole promise I made to myself.”
“Well which one? You’ve made a lot of them lately.”
I opened my eyes, “Not supportive.”
She shrugged, “It’s true and you know it.” She mumbled then took a sip of her coffee.
“The one about love.”
“Ah ha. Don’t give your heart to another man until November. I do remember that one.” She said with a nod.
“Yeah, well I didn’t make it until November.” I mumbled taking another hard swallow trying to avoid her eye contact.
She didn’t scold like I was expecting, she simply said, “It happens. Are you sure you love him?”
I nodded, “I’m positive.”“Do you even know what love is?” She asked.
I paused trying to formulate my answer. “Well I didn’t. But I do now.”
“Tell me.” She stated with frankness, doubting me.
I leaned onto the table and started at my coffee. “Tell you what?”
She sighed, “How do you know. You’ve only been a couple for a little while.”
I looked up at her. “I know. That’s what I can’t explain.” She leaned back in her chair, “I’ve got a theory about love.” She paused to make sure I was listening, “There are two ways that love happens. The first is instant. The second is learned. But there is the ultimate love, it’s both instant and learned, it’s a love that will sustain through everything. I do not doubt you love him, but tell me is it a love that will sustain?”
“I don’t know. I just know that what I feel for him, it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. There is no doubt in my mind. The love is as solid as a couple who's been together for fifty years.”
“It sounds like a pure love. No body can define it or say that it has symptoms. You just have to know in your heart. If he's the one, you already know."She paused.
"Was he the one who was trying to get you ready for Alaska?" She asked.
I nodded as I poured some black coffee into my mug.
“Ah. The one you fell hard for a couple of months ago?”
I nodded again.
She smiled. “Beck, do you remember what I told you back when we first met?”
I shook my head, “You’ve told me a lot of things.”
“Stop rushing life. Because you’re going to get to the end of it and look back and think, fuck why was I rushing? Take a deep breath and enjoy this ride. Enjoy this part of the relationship. If you rush through this you’ll never get it back.” She reached her hand across the table to touch mine, “Just take your time. Enjoy every second you get with him and know that eventually you’ll get what you want. I remember the phone call when you told me all about him and how you wanted so badly for him to ask you out. You got that didn’t you?”
I smiled thinking about how it all went down, “Yes Beans.”
“Okay then don’t rush the poor man just because you’ve been waiting. Under the protection of the Archer, what you seek will find you.”
I smiled. “The Archer?”
“The constellation. He’s fierce and war like. Just like you. He’s your protector. Let him do his work and what you seek will find you.” She said as she retracted her hand back to her coffee mug.
She's right of course. After all patience paid the first time and after a frank conversation with Bowman I think we stand on good ground. I'm not a patient person, I don't handle not getting what I want well. Never have, it's part of being an only child. But no one said I wouldn't get what I want, I just have to give it some time. Time it's such a precious thing...
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