There are two drinking nights that you want to watch out
for. The mild one is straight whiskey nights, those happen a lot and they aren’t
much to worry about, it’s the straight tequila that you have to watch. Those
nights are rare, maybe once a year. They are the nights when I can’t cope, the nights
when I need honest answers, the nights when I really don’t care.
Tequila has some ruthless side effects on me. It gets me
drunk really fast, it takes away my filter; with straight tequila I throw all my
cares away. But it does have one up to it; it makes me see things in a bright,
clear, and honest light. I become not only honest about myself, my life, but
other peoples lives. I become a life coach, a real Doctor Phil.
Last night was a straight tequila night. One shot after
another the girls kept throwing them my way. So the good drinker I am I kept
pouring them down. I lost count after eight.
The bright, white, honest light came then. It shone on
everything I went through these last couple of weeks. Starting with the break
up with Handsome; I should have taken some time to heal over that, I shouldn’t
have rushed so eagerly into a new relationship, no matter how great it was. After
I had set that aside and reached some inner peace with it I remember a glass of
Coke and Jameson, probably because Ash noticed I needed to slow it down.
Then came everything with Bowman. I thought about where we
started, that was okay moving from friends to a relationship. I searched
through everything and couldn’t find the point he thinks I’m lying about. In my
Dr. Phil mode I apparently texted him. I read through the texts, they are
classic tequila. They don’t make sense, they don’t argue my case, except for
two of them. Those were purely honest. The one I had sent at round two that
opened the conversation, and one of the last ones, the one about why I am
moving to Omaha
I learned that no matter what I say or do I’ll never be over
him. My heart will always want him and regret how things went. No matter whom I
find in life I will probably always love him. Maybe that’s what it’s supposed
to be like; maybe that is God’s plan. But I do know that some answers from him
would be nice, maybe then I could really begin to heal.
Straight Tequila has one more nasty effect, morning puke…
No comments:
Post a Comment