The New Life: Not This Time

I leaned my head onto his chest, “Girl you know I’m not Mr. Right.” He whispered as he pressed his fingers into my tense shoulders.

“I know Tennessee. I know.” I mumbled as I closed my eyes and took a breath of his cologne.

“Are you sure you need me?” He asked his deep Southern accent strung through every word.

“I don’t need you. I never have. It’s just easier with you.” I mumbled.

“Becks, I’m okay being a rebound. We’ve always been that for each other, a soft place to fall. But maybe this time it’s different.” He mumbled as he gently ran his fingers through my hair.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked as I looked up at him.

“It took you awhile to call. Normally you call right away.” He paused as he brushed my bangs out of my face, “Becks maybe you don’t really need this, maybe not this time. Maybe you are past needing a rebound. Maybe, just maybe, someone is trying to tell you something.”

I leaned back in his arms so I could rest my hands on his chest. I thought for a moment. “A lot of people are trying to tell me a lot of things. Please don't try telling me anything, that's not what I need.” I whispered trying to keep the hurt from my voice. “I can make it on my own and be quiet about it. I made it after my divorce. Remember?”

“I do remember. I also remember the calls when you needed someone to keep the other side of the bed warm.” He said sternly. “I remember the week you separated from your ex husband. I remember you falling asleep in my arms and finding every reason to deer hunt together. I remember laying in that bed with you in complete silence. I remember the look in your eyes. You needed someone then, but I don’t see it this time.” He said as he stared into my eyes. His blue eyes seemed to beam with life. They were gentler then I remembered, kinder.

We stood in silence for a little bit. I shivered a little as the breeze picked up. He felt it and pulled me in closer. I thought for a long time as he held me. “I don’t know why I called.”

“Because what you and I have is easy. We love each other for awhile, help each other through the tough spots. But in the end we expect the hurt; we know there isn’t an everlasting commitment.” He said as he kept me in his arms. "You aren't the woman you were last year, your stronger. You don't need someone else to lean on. You know how to make yourself happy and at peace."

I stood quietly for a moment, “I love him very much.”

“I know you do. Did he say it’s over for good?” He asked.

“No, he really seemed to leave the string attached.”

Tennessee sighed, “Cut the string Becks. Cut it. He’s not worth the salt.”

I laughed a little. “You going to be around if I really do need you.”

He smiled, “I’m just a phone call away. I’ll be in town for awhile; work is going to keep me here.”

“Maybe I’ll call you.” I said with a half smile.

“Okay. But I don’t think you need me.”

“I think you’re right. But don’t go telling anyone I said that.” I said stepping back from him.

“I’m going to tell Texas, He’ll never believe that came out of your mouth!”