See that smile right there? Isn't it beautiful?I think so to. I think that's probably one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever had on my face. I found it somewhere on Thanksgiving. Somewhere in my heart. Underneath the scar of the breakup. Underneath the fact that I thought I lost Hope. Underneath the dead flowers and the shattered lights. I found it.
As I sat in the saddle that afternoon I realized that I'm still breathing. But more importantly I realized how self involved I had become. I thought about how awful I've been to my friends. I've been so wrapped up in my own self pitty I've hardly noticed what's been going on around me.
Two of my closests friends are going through a living hell; worse then the hell I thought I was in. They've lost their Hope.
A former trainer of mine is sick. To what extent I'm not sure, but I'm worried.
Then there is the girl I call my closest friend, I've completely shut her out.
It's all wrong, I've never been this way and it's not the way I want to be. Maybe the breakup was a good thing. I get the chance now to correct the errors I have made. I get the opportunity to get back to the real Beck. Along with the Unbridled Happiness I want her back more then anything in this world. With that smile up above I see she's close, she's still here. I know that I can still bring her back to life and get rid of this bitch I've become.
There will be no more take take take. Only give give give.... I promise
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