Tomorrow is the 23rd. The 23rd seems to be a pretty good date to me. I was officially divorced on the 23rd of March. On the 23rd of April I was back to my maiden name. By May 23rd my heart felt pretty much healed. On June 23rd I shot the best score I’ve shot yet with my Parker. On the 23rd of July my feelings for Bowman were confirmed in my heart. Tomorrow is the 23rd of August; I wonder what it has in store for me. Guess we will just have to wait and see.
I wanted to catch you all up on my crazy week, so here goes nothing!
Bowman had a protest about my last blog, “You make it sound almost like I was stalking you.” He remarked.
I laughed, but let me clear it up, Bowman wasn’t stalking me. We just kept noticing each other. I’d pass him on the highway and think there he goes. He’d come into the store and I’d think, you can linger a little bit longer. Now that he is mine, I still think the same things, they are just constant. But no, there was no stalking.
Our relationship has grown and gotten a lot stronger. Our communication is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. We are committed to each other and make an effort to be a couple. He’s willing to make time for me and I’m willing to make time for him. We have common interests and share common ground. We are a really great couple and I feel so safe with him, I know he’s with me through anything the universe could throw at me. I’m with him to, no matter what.
Over the past week a lot of other things have gone on. I’ve had my knee looked at, the conclusion isn’t promising. I’m, literally, dragging my feet with making a decision. What the doctor proposes would change my life completely. The simple answer is I’m scared, and until I’m not scared anymore I am going to keep dragging my feet.
The trip to Alaska
I’m making progress within my job. I’m still not exactly where I’d like to be. But I feel more comfortable being a leader and setting an example. I’m okay with discipline and okay getting ahead of issues and communicating with my staff and supervisors. It’s a step in the right direction.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve gone through a lot of struggles. But somewhere in it all I’ve found the purest happy I’ve ever felt. I feel so much better then I did just a couple of months ago. I’m happy with my life, even if there are struggles. I’m happy with the choices I’ve made personally over the last couple of weeks. What I’m not happy about is the hurt I’ve put other people through. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that. All I can do is apologize and hope that somewhere along the way they realize I didn’t do it to be malicious.
The effort to reach this place has been long and tiresome. Bowman tells me I look tired, and in all honesty I am. I’ve finally reached a place where I feel comfortable resting. I’ve finally found the happy ground, the place I’ve been searching for. It’s now time to lie down in the grass and take a nap. It’s time to stop fighting and just enjoy the ride, weather it’s on the back of Bowman’s bike or in the saddle, it’s time to enjoy.
Sorry to get your hopes up, but this blog had nothing to do with Ketchup, I just couldn’t resist!
No comments:
Post a Comment