The New Life: Hit the Pavement

For two weeks I’ve been a good girl. I’ve kept the impact level on my knee to the bare minimum. But today I broke down. I quickly changed my cloths and pulled the running shoes on. Two weeks without running was beginning to drive me crazy.

My feet hit the rough pavement hard as the recoil slammed pain into my knee. I pressed on through the pain, something I’ve learned I have to do.  My worries melted as I pushed harder for longer strides down the road.  Music blared through my ears as I wound my way down the road. At the two mile mark I stopped, breathing hard and regretting my decision.

The last couple of weeks played through my head. The bubbling frustration began to subside. I sunk down into the grass along the road. A handful of dragon flies danced in the cooling summer night. I sighed, still huffing. The two week break had really taken a lot of my stamina out of me. I sat in the grass for a little while and watched the sandhills for a little while. In the distance I could hear the haying tractors and the sound of the trains down at Antioch.

I thought about conversations I’ve had with Bowman. The drastic difference between the way Bowman and I communicate and how my ex and I communicated. I smiled, wrapped my arms around my legs and settle my chin on my knees. They were still slamming with pain, I intended to finish the run, I just wanted the pain to subside a little bit before I continued on. I could hear the scolding from Bowman in my head. I laughed as a rush of happiness hit me.

Running used to be a way of venting my frustration, but over the last couple of runs I’ve come to realize I run because it makes me happy. It’s not just about getting rid of the frustration, it’s about taking some time to get away from everything and find myself. Shooting does the same thing, riding too, but running it does something different. I feel like if I am literally running maybe it will keep me from emotionally running away.

Pain ached through my legs as I sunk into this chair to write this blog. In the morning my knees will be killing me, but it’s worth it. I’m not frustrated or worried, I’m happy. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed for two miles, but oh well, it did me some good.