In Love

I told myself I wouldn't fall in love again, not for awhile at least. Love isn't for me right now, I'm not saying love isn't for me ever, but at this moment in time love just isn't right. But then again I've only shot the Pink Parker five times now and I'm in love. So maybe love is in the cards.

I've never shot such a nice handling bow. If I could get it together as a shooter the performance of my Parker would be outstanding. Don't get me wrong it performs exceptionally well, but if I was a better shooter it would be performing even better. I love to shoot. I love my bow and my custom arrows. I love how it makes me feel to have that Parker in my hand. I love the thrill of the shoot and the feeling of the bow rocking in my hand. I love it all.

After I broke myself down this past weekend I starred at my bow in it's case, the pink camo glowing in the florescent lights. I thought about what a shame it would be to never shoot that bow again. It actually made me cry. Struggling as a shooter is really bothering me, nothing has ever bothered me as much.It broke my heart to think about quiting. Much like my divorce broke my heart. But quitting archery would have been ten times more painful. Thinking about never uncasing that bow again made me cry. Thinking about all the people I'd be letting down made me cry even harder.

I called the Big D earlier today and confessed how I felt about it all. "Your in love." That's what he told me and "We've all thought about quitting. Don't I'll kick your butt if you do. We all struggle. In the end everything will work out." He's right. He always is. Besides I can hear Sonny up there yelling at me for even entertaining the idea of quiting.

So I'm not quitting. It's a silly idea. I've never quit anything when the going gets rough. I'm going to look into some lessons. There are a couple of pro shops only a few miles from here. I'm finding it hard to take MC seriously. I'm not sure why he's an excellent shooter and a really great guy, but for some reason his style of teaching isn't working for me.

But being in love feels amazing. The Parker has really made the wake of my divorce a lot easier. If I'm having a bad day I pick that Parker up and take it down to the range and shoot away all of my problems. I just have to get away from frustration and stop short changing myself. After all I've made strides of improvement from November, I can consistently hit paper now. I can draw a 55 pound bow. I can feel confident down at the range. My bow has brought me back to life. I'm beginning to remember the woman I wanted to be. My bow has given me the confidence to make moves toward the future.

I won't quit. I can't quit now. There is no going back, I'm in love. I admit it.
Becks