The New Life: I Promise

 It washed over me like the ocean washes over the white beaches in San Diego, sleep. I fell hard into it; I was immediately in a dream. It was still and quiet. The sun was just beginning to rise over the valley our house sits in.
I pulled my pink fleece closer to me as the cold bit at me. I heard the footsteps behind me, and then felt the hand on my shoulder. I turned my head to see Sonny standing next to me.

“Hey Baby Girl.” She said. “Give me a hug.” She wrapped me in her embrace and let me cry. “Listen. I promise you that everything is going to work out just fine. You’re going to be okay.”
I met her blue eyes. “Sonny, it hurts so bad.”
“Cancer it’s scary. Then to top of losing the man you love, well that’s just cruel, and I’m sorry it worked out that way. It shouldn’t have.” She brushed my bangs off of my forehead. “But I promise your going to be fine.”

We stood quietly for awhile as the sun rose, “Dawn was always my favorite time of day.” I mumbled.
“Yeah I know. That’s why we are here.”

The sun cracked over the hills. Through the clouds on the horizon the sun shone a brilliant purple and orange across the Sandhills range. I could see the silhouettes of the horses and hear the Sandhills Carnes welcoming the dawn.

“A new beginning.” She whispered.

I woke this morning and starred up at the leaky skylight. There was a dim light shinning in. I sighed and looked over at the clock, 10:30. I was late. I was supposed to meet D at the hotel at 8:30 so we could leave. I sighed again and pulled the blankets closer around me.

Around 11:00 there was a knock on the door. “Yeah.” I mumbled.

“Can I come in?” D asked.

“Yeah.” I mumbled again, motionless.

“Holy crap it’s freezing in here.” He mumbled as he closed the door behind him. “You going to get out of bed today?” He asked.

I could smell his cologne, it warmed me. “No.” I whispered as he sat down in the chair by the dresser.

“Why?” He asked. “Thought we were going to Deadwood.”

“I’m not ready to be on a bike yet.” I mumbled.

“Oh.” He said.

We sat quietly for awhile. Tears were gently rolling down my cheeks into my hair. My chest hurt.

“I do believe my heart has physically broke.” I mumbled.

He sighed. “We talked about this. Fuck him. If he doesn’t believe the truth he isn’t fucking worth it.” D said a little hostile.

“I know.” I sighed. It grew quiet for awhile. My mind wouldn’t slow as I tried to figure out what Bowman thought I was lying about. “It sucks.”

“That it does.” He whispered.

“I’m thinking about coming back to Omaha.” I mumbled.

He sighed, “Finally.”

“Yep.” I said sitting up in bed. I reached over and turned the light on. “I don’t think I can stay here.”

"I don’t want you to run, but, honestly Omaha has so many more opportunities.”

I nodded. “I’m thinking about going back to the show world.”

He smiled, “well in all honesty you should have never left it.”

I nodded, “I know.”

“So where you going to start?” He asked.

“I’m not sure. But I figured I’d cold call some barns, talk to some barn managers and see where it goes. If I have to clean stalls and work a couple of jobs for now, well then that’s what I’m going to do.” I said clearly.

He smiled, “I’ll help you as much as I can.”

“Thanks, but I want to do it on my own. I need to show myself that I can do what ever I want on my own.”

He smiled, “There is the woman you are supposed to be, right there in that statement.” He stood up and patted my leg. “You’re going to be just fine.”

I smiled at him. “Eventually.”

He walked over to the door. I stopped him, “Hey D.”

He turned and looked at me, “Yeah Babe.”

“Promise me I’ll be okay.”

He smiled, “Your going to be better then okay. I promise.”