The New Life: Dreaming

I lay in bed, wide awake starring up at the ceiling fan. I shifted a little closer to him so we were barely touching. I had been dreaming of all sorts of things when suddenly my dream turned into a nightmare, a gory nightmare. I closed my eyes as he laid his arm over me. I relaxed with his touch and eventually fell back to sleep.

I  fell into a dream with Sonny. We were sitting at the counter of the archery range. Her beautiful blue eyes beaming with life, her cigarette in hand, the TV quietly playing behind me.
“It would seem that you've finally come to terms with everything." She said as she flicked the ashes off her cigarette into the ash tray.
"Yes ma'am." I slicked my hair back and pulled it up into a pony tail
"Beautiful.” She said with a smile. “It also seems that you've found out how to make yourself happy."
"Yes ma'am. I've learned I'm the only one who can do that." I stated as I leaned on to the counter. “I’ve come to terms with everything that happened. I realized that I made some bad choices, I made mistakes. I should have listened to everyone who told me not to get married.” I sighed, “I’m in such a better place.” I smiled, “a much better place.”
She smiled "I see you've made some progress as a young woman."
I smiled, slyly, back "What does that mean?"
"It means you finally know what you want."
I paused, "Well I know what I want for sure.” I played with the lose fletching lying on the counter.
“Still in a rush?” She asked as she cocked her head and watched me.
I shook my head and smiled, “Nope, It’ll happen when it’s meant to.” I sat up and looked her in the eyes.
“So tell me, you going to fall in love again?” She asked as she clicked the TV off.
I paused. The sound of arrows smacking the wall in the range echoed throughout the dream. “Eventually, but there is no rush.”
She smiled, “Smart girl. You have learned. So tell me about the new boyfriend.”



Something threw me back to life, suddenly. I opened my eyes as he asked me a question “You feeling better?”
“Um huh.” I mumbled as I rolled over. He repositioned his arm and I quickly fell back into the dream.



She smiled at me, “Ah I see.”
I smiled back, “It’s a young relationship. We will see where it goes. Right now I’m just enjoying being with him, being his girl.”
She smiled, “Promise me you will take it slow.”
I raised my right hand, “a turtle’s pace.”
Her laughter rang through the dream; I laughed right a long with her. “Just don’t rush it.” She finally stated.
“No rush.” I promised.
She smiled at me one more time.

My alarm rang and I jolted up in bed. I turned it off and lay back down on the pillow. I curled up to him, we were on vacation, no where to be, no rush. I smiled as I thought about the dream and nestled my head next to him.
“Miss you Sonny.” I whispered then closed my eyes. I fell back to sleep quickly.


I’d like to think it really was her there with me. I hope she approves of the way I’ve changed over the past couple of months. I hope she realizes that often I think of her and miss her. She was, is, something more to me then just a friend, she is a confidant. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss her.

Losing her was a painful, but what is even more painful is not knowing if she really is here with me. Of course it doesn’t really matter; I know that if I need her she’s here because she will always be in my heart. But it would be nice to know the honest truth, if she does really approve of how I’ve changed my life.