The New Life: Remember the Archer

Beans smiled at me over her coffee. “The protection of the archer.” She whispered.

I nodded. “I remember.”

She cocked her head to the side, “Really? I’ve been following you and it seems as if you’ve forgotten.”

I sighed and looked out the picture window and watched the pines across her yard. “I did.” I whispered.

“Don’t lose faith. He’s out there. Who knows things may change with the one you thought was the one.” She said as she kept her eyes on me.

I shook my head, “I think he’s long gone. He’s like the mustang you turn back onto the range, he runs and runs but never stops to look back and remember the sweet feed in the corral.”

She quietly chuckled to herself, knowing exactly what I was talking about.

My eyes met hers. “I thought being alone was the scariest part about this. But oddly enough I’m not scared of that.”

She nodded, “Don’t ever be scared of being alone. It’s practically impossible.”

I laughed, “I know. I’m okay being alone, I was before and I’ll be now. It’ll be okay. I just wish I didn’t have to be alone.”

We sat in silence for awhile. I stared at my creamy coffee, she’d gotten heavy handed, like always with the creamer. “What are you scared of?” She asked.

“Spiders, your coffee straight, and shutting my fingers in the car door.” I mumbled.

She laughed, “Well I’m glad you still have a sense of humor.”

I smiled at her, “I’m scared that I’ll never love someone the way I do him.”

“Did.”

“What?” I asked.

“Shouldn’t you say did rather then do?” She asked.

I shook my head no, “I’ll always love him.”

She leaned back in her chair, “I know what you mean. My second husband, I still very much love him.” She closed her eyes; I knew she was picturing him. “There is a part of me that always will.” She opened her eyes, “But I’ve found someone to love more, and know what, I honestly love him more. If it hadn’t been for my ex I wouldn’t know how to love someone.”

I stared at her thinking. “I honestly think he’s the other half of my soul.”

She shrugged and grabbed her coffee, “If he is then things will change. If he isn’t he’ll be like that horse and keep on running.”

It grew quiet again. “The other night, the way he looked at me. I’ll never forget it.” I whispered as the tears welled. “I could see how we used to be in his eyes, I could see the good times and the bad. But mostly I still saw the spark.” I whispered.

“You aren’t going to change fate. He is the only one who can stop himself from running. Give it some time and take a breath. If it’s meant to be then everything is going to be okay. I’m pretty sure he still thinks about you. It’s hard to believe he doesn’t.” She reached out for my hand, “Time is the only thing that will heal this wound.”

I nodded, “I just wish the time was over and everything was good again.”

She smiled, “Listen to me. Go to Omaha. Don’t think of it as running away; think of it as running to. You’re running to a better education and a better future.”

“Yeah. But that’s the other thing. He thinks he’s holding me back.”

“Oh.” She sighed as she retracted her hand, “There that may be the answer.”

I cocked my head to the side, “what?”

“If he really loves you he doesn’t want to stop you from your dreams, he doesn’t want to stop you from becoming what you want to be.” She said, “He thinks he’s looking out for you.” She thought for a moment, “But that’s not really a reason. Who says he can’t be there while you seek your future.”

I shrugged, “Beans. I think he and I are at two different points in our lives. I think that’s the simple answer.”

She nodded. “Either way, under the protection of the Archer what you seek will find you.”

“I just need the Archer to take the pain away.” I whispered.

“Then ask for it.” She said with a smile. “Don’t be scared Becks. The future is out there. But promise me you won’t let this one wound turn you cold.”

I thought about it for a minute, “Okay.”

“Good. Now go find your future. Give him some time, he may surprise you.” She said clearly.

“Who, Bowman or the Archer?” I asked.

“Who says that means either. Maybe it’ll be both.” She said with a cocky, knowing, smile.

“Beans. What do you see?” I asked, knowing she sometimes had the gift of seeing the future.

“Lots of sunshine. Don’t forget the archer.” She said with a smile. “He’s always there.”