Sunday Soundtrack

Per request of sevreal of my friends I've added Sunday Soundtrack. I'll share the songs that have been kicking around in my head and that I've been jamming to on the way to work. So here we go!

And while these aren't the songs from Crazy Louie I thought I'd share it anyways. I want to hear their songs Riding in the Milk truck and Rhedabegga Baby

New Bike Time?

Found the bike I am in love with...

.... Now I just have to figure out the financing, WITHOUT... D's help...

I may have to rob the "Harley Hog"

My birthday gift from Momma last year... yes she thinks shes clever...

From The Saddle: Sweet Cheek's Turn

Today I’ve asked Sweet Cheeks to guest write. I’m starting a new job, haven’t been to Omaha, and dealing with some family drama. So it’s Sweet Cheeks turn while I search for my sanity...

Momma asked me to write this blog today. Sometimes I’m pretty sure she’s lost her marbles, but hay as long as the sweet feed and cookies keep coming it’s whatever!

It’s been several months now that Momma has been out of sorts. Sometimes I worry about her, especially when we are out on an adventure and she just seems to check out.

Sometimes she leans down and whispers into my ear that she loves me. I already know that Momma, who wouldn’t love me. Sometimes she just sits in silence and lets me wander aimlessly around, which is fine, but I miss the days when we had goals in mind. I miss the days when we went to shows every weekend, I miss traveling.

I wish I knew how to make Momma feel better. Sometimes when we go stand in the trees she’ll tell me what she’s thinking about. She says maybe it was a mistake to give her heart out. Then she sometimes asks me if I think she'll ever find someone to love like she loved Him.

Who’s him? Did he get a cut of the cookies? Momma you already make me share with the other horses and now I have to share with Him… What the heck? Is him the one who rides that really loud blue thing? If it is Momma then you need a reality check, he hasn’t been around in months, I'm pretty sure he's found a new herd.

Momma says she’s been gone alot because she's learning how to ride. I'm pretty sure she already knows how to do that. I think it's related to that big white truck and trailer that show up every so often. I stand in the pasture and whinny at it but I never get a sound back. It's strange...

Love you Momma, hope you get back to normal real soon, after all I know the show season has already started and we haven’t left the ranch once… Get into gear; don’t make me bite you on the ass like I do the rest of my mares!!! Figure it out cause I'm tired of waiting!!!

The Sportster: Attempting Homework

It’s been close to four years since the last time I’ve had homework. But this homework was one I was pretty happy to do, well when I started it anyway. 50 questions about the rider handbook, easy, the answers are right in front of me!

Yeah but I couldn’t get the handbook to print off… sigh so there I sat squinting to read the damn things. Sure would be nice if I actually had the course material in my hand. Hmm oh well.

Did you know:  “Ordinary sunglasses aren’t enough protection for a motorcyclist. They can fly off or shatter causing damage to a rider’s eyes.” Sigh sounds like a ploy for Harley to sell me their brand name rider glasses…

Did you know: “Helmets only reduce the risk of a brain injury by 67%”  Guess it’s better then 50%

Did you know: “That a bikes owner manual should be your primary source of information about the bike.”  … really?!?!

Hmm looks like I couldn’t take it too seriously. Guess when I’m in a better mood I’ll have to do it...

Honestly I'm actually kind of nervous about the classes....

Odometer: 327

The New Life: Figuring Sonny Out

I stared at the bottle of Jameson in front of me. I felt no desire to drink it; I didn’t feel a want or need. So I left it on the table and laid my head on my arms resting on the table. I stared at the label studying it. Melancholy, that’s what I decided I was feeling.

Sonny sat down at the end of the table. She was quiet, and I realized I was dreaming. She pushed the bottle out of my line of sight but I continued to stare straight ahead.

“Where have you been?” I asked.

“You didn’t need me. I was just watching.” She said as she lit a cigarette. I sat up and looked around realizing we were now in her shop.

“Hmm.” I sighed.

“You and your hmms.” She said as she flicked the ashes off.

I stared at her without talking.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

I shrugged then shoved my hands in my pockets, “wish I knew.”

She sighed and then took another drag of her cigarette, staring at me out of the corner of her eyes, “you miss him don’t you.” She finally said.

I closed my eyes, “yeah.”

“Thought so.”

I opened my eyes and we were sitting out in the clearing. “You probably shouldn’t smoke here. It’s real dry.” I said.

She laughed, “a real Sherlock we have here. Just shut up.”

I groaned and realized we weren’t directly in the clearing; we were standing back closer to the pond.

“I tried to show you this the other day but holy cow you can be thick headed.” She said. Bowman appeared first and then me, my bow lying in the grass closest to the tree. We were passing the bionocs back and forth, whispering quietly.

Sonny whispered something I couldn’t understand. The past me turned her head and looked around, Bowman looked over to her and the memory paused. “Right here. What’s this?” She asked.

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

She smiled, “think about it.”

I stared trying to see what she wanted me to see. She disappeared and left me with the past memory in my dream. When I woke up it was dawn. I got out of bed and went for a walk, still trying to figure out what she wanted me to see, happy that I hadn’t completely lost ALL of my marbles, just some…

Just for You

Songs I am Currently addicted to:



"Just stop by. We'll laugh about the old days and catch up on the new."


"I'll see you when I see, until then my prayers are with you."


"And I hope it's someday soon."

"watch that first step. Don't do domething you might regret."

"Tighten up on your reins your running wild"
"My heart reamins lovin you"
"Livin just to keep goin. Goin just to keep sane"

"I'll walk dead or alive.... I'm feeling okay with my whiskey hangover"

"Since we been over been trying like crazy to get you out of my head

Sooo
Why you wanna
Show up in a old t-shirt that I love
Why you gotta tell me that I'm looking good don't know what
You were thinkin'
You were doing
Moving in for a hug
Like you don't know I'm coming unglued
Why you gotta why you wanna
Make me keep wanting you

I wish you had on sunglasses
To cover up those blue (brown) eyes"

Big Roy

A very close family friend is in the hospital fighting for his life. Please keep him in your prayers, it would be a tragedy if the world lost him.
Every time I start halter breaking a horse I think of a story my grandpa told me about him. He was standing in the middle of the old barn, working with a colt. Big Roy is a tall guy probably 6'7. Anyway he reached down the lead rope and said "come'er horse I don't want to walk."
It makes me laugh every time.
Love you Roy!
I'm pulling for you!

Becki Ann

The New Life: Lines in the Hand

I woke up stressed, worried and worked up over something, but what I wasn't sure of. So upset over something I was bawling. I felt like I needed to go talk to Beans.  As I passed through town I noticed Bowman. My heart panged as I saw him, I realized this was exactly why I needed to go to Beans.

I arrived at Beans in a little over an hour. I welcomed myself into her house and collapsed onto her sofa. “Well hello.” She said as she walked out of her kitchen.

“Hey.” I said in a low whisper.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I just need to talk to you.” I mumbled.

She laughed, “oh okay.”

“I know something is wrong, I all the sudden hurt. But I don't know what's wrong." I said running my had through my hair, trying to grasp the feelings inside of me.

Beans nodded, “Interesting.”

“Oh please don’t say that. Please be blunt today.” I said quietly begging her.

“Okay. Well where to start.” She thought to herself for a moment, “Your soul is hurting right now. But not just the piece you hold, the other half that is held by your soul mate is hurting to. It seems that you both are in rocky waters. Maybe you both are doubting whom you really love. I think you are possibly feeling the pain he's feeling on top of your own troubles.”

I stared at her blankly, she wasn’t making much sense. She and I both share the thought that upon creation a soul is divided into two people and it’s a person’s quest in life to find the other half. But the fact that both parts were hurting at the same time over the same thing didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. The fact that maybe I could feel his pain made even less sense.

“Let me see your left hand.” She said quietly. She very rarely asks to see my left hand, but it wasn’t abnormal for her to ask to see my hand; she often used my right hand to tell me about the future.
She took my hand in hers and stared at the cuts on top of it. “These cuts happened a few weeks ago, yet they look like they just happened.” She paused as she stared at them, “Wounds of the flesh can’t heal if the soul isn’t healthy.” Her eyes met mine, “this is an indication.”

"Why did you ask for my left hand?”

"The left hand shows me your soul and heart” She turned my hand over and stared at my palm for what seemed like an hour. “This may be the source of the problem." She ran her finger nail over a small line in my hand.

“What does it mean?” I asked.

She smiled at me, “These lines indicated life events. This little line says that soon something is going to happen that is going to change your love life forever. This little line indicates that two parts of a soul will be reunited, that two roads become one.”

I sucked my breath in hard. She had taught me that the placements of the lines, the length and deepness indicated different things. She has predicted that I will mother a set of twins a boy and a girl, and that a third will be unexpected and will also be a girl. But she hadn’t ever talked about the lines that predicted my love life.

“I saw this line back in August. But I didn’t say anything because it was very, very faint. It disappeared in October, but now it’s strong, and deep.” She said quietly.

We sat in silence for a little while. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding. She let go of my hand and smiled, “be patient. Even though the line is here now, you need to wait on Fate to see what is going to happen. The one who holds the other half of your soul will fight for you.”

My eyes met hers, “What?”

“He will fight for you. It appears you may have a choice to make. But be patient, you won’t have to make it over night.” She said with a smile.

The New Life: Replacing Nightmares

Recently the nightmares have been replaced by gentle dreams. My favorite so far is this one.

The sound of the early summer wind through the cotton wood trees fills the air. I lean down and put my head on my knees as I stare out across the meadow. The clearing is now in full bloom. The choke cherry trees are blooming, the leaves are coming in, and the grass has started growing again, there is a sense of Hope and Renewal in the air.

I sigh and close my eyes, listening to my surroundings. Through the wind I hear footsteps in the dried leaves from fall. I open my eyes and look over to find Bowman walking towards me. I smile as he waves to me; my heart flutters in my chest.

He sits down next to me and looks out across the meadow. “I want to be Us again” he says over the wind.

I smile, “me too.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and I rest my head on him.

If I could pause this dream I would. I’d stop it every time and just soak it up.

Maybe one day. Hopefully one day…

But I see the new dreams as a sign that I'm finally healed over the heartache, ready to get back to the good life.

Hmmm.....

Hmmmm… The World Feels a little out of place today....

Yep that pretty much covers it.

Talk with you later.

Beck

Odometer: 327

The Sportster: By the End of Summer

So I have a couple of goals set for this summer, some are horse related but most are related to the Sportster. When D first purchased the bike it had a total of about 50 miles on it. Yeah yeah I know, shut up… I’m actually pretty proud that it’s rolled over on 300 and all but 75 of those miles are miles I’VE put on it.

My goal for September is to have the odometer at 5,500 miles. It may not seem like a lot to you, but come on I’m just learning how to ride… Give me a break.

My second goal is to purchase my own bike. Yeah the Sportster is mine, but it really isn’t mine, my name isn’t on the title. So after Sturgis I’m buying my OWN bike, one with MY name on the title!

Odometer: 300

The New Life: Parting Ways

Sometimes there is a reason you can’t learn to love someone else. Maybe they have to much baggage, their personality doesn't match yours, or maybe it's because they are hiding something from you. My reason for not being able to love Jay was the later of the bunch, he was hiding several things from me... All is NOT fair in love and war....

I’d been home from Deadwood for two days when my best friend from high school called.

“You are dating Jay?” Was the first thing out of her mouth.

I paused, “Yeah why?”

I could hear her tense over the phone. She seemed to be thinking about how to say what she wanted to say. “There is something you need to know about Jay.”

I sighed, “Okay, tell me then.”

Looking back now I suppose I should have seen the signs. His explosive temper, the way he seemed to sit and stew on everything that didn’t go his way. It was one of those times I needed D and his friendship.

I’m just glad that it didn’t take him beating me to realize what he was… I guess that sometimes all you have to do is listen to your heart, it'll tell you the truth...

The Sportster: The Last Day in Deadwood- The Ride

Once we got past our issues it turned out to be a pretty great weekend. We left the bikes at a friend of D’s in Sturgis the night before. There wasn’t room in the hotel parking lot for the trailer and D wasn’t comfortable parking the bikes out in the open.

So the next day we got up early, picked the bikes up and rode up to Hill City. It was the last day of our mini vacation and I wanted to get sometime on the Sportster before it went back to Omaha. The total ride would be just over 100 miles. I was nervous about the distance.

What if I got tired and couldn’t ride any further? What if I wrecked the bike in the hills in between? What happened if a big old logging truck came up behind me? What if the weather suddenly turned bad? They were all questions I rambled off in the truck on the way to Sturgis, playing with my helmet in my lap.

“It’ll be fine. If you get tired Teddy’s wife will ride your bike back and you can get on with Jay.” D said as he stared blankly out the windshield.

I sighed, not overly happy with the answers I was getting. There would be no truck to ride back in if it rained, I’d freeze my ass off in my leathers instead. If the bike was wrecked it would probably take 30 minutes or more for someone to show up. There would be some truck traffic, but not a lot. I should feel safe because Jay and D would be right there with me the entire time.
Staring out the windshield of the truck I remembered the feeling that something was going to happen to me and the Sportster. I silently prayed it wouldn’t start.

That prayer was one of the unanswered ones, the Sportster fired right up, no fuss about it. I’m sure I was shaking as I stood with it between my legs. Sometimes I have a balancing issue when first starting out; normally I can get it sorted out as soon as the bike starts moving, which I did. We were out of the driveway before I could even second guess myself.

D and Teddy rode side by side in the front, then Jay and me, and right behind us Garza on his big Honda that should probably be in a scrap yard.

I settled into the ride and attempted to kill all the nervousness in my body. This was my first “trip” on the bike. I felt a rush of pride as I remembered where I had started, on the back of Bowman’s bike, my hands tensely on his shoulders. I glanced down to my relaxed hands on the grips; I knew if he could see me he’d be proud.

I looked over at Jay and for a second I saw Bowman and the big Blue King next to me.

I felt a small pang in my heart as I realized I missed the Blue King, but it wasn’t pain I felt that time when I thought about Bowman. It was happiness and thankfulness. Thankful for him giving me the "Biker Bug", as my Momma calls it. Thankful that he left the option out of me getting on the Blue King and his patience while I nervously settled into riding.  But mostly thankful for every second he had been in my life.

I looked ahead and watched the guys in front of me, realizing that if it hadn’t been for D sheltering me, for great friends, I wouldn’t have anything. It was then I realized that no matter what, I do have someone who loves me, if everything falls apart D will be right there to catch me. I realized then as D looked over his shoulder at the stop light and smiled at me, that Sonny wasn’t talking about a soul mate, she was talking about a man who loved me more then I could ever imagine, a man who had no biological ties to me treating me as if I was his own flesh and blood, his own daughter. “Love develops in the oddest places.” I knew he’d realized what it meant, I figured he’d brought me back to Deadwood in hopes I would figure it out too.

“Hey You!” Jay hollered.

I turned my head as we waited for the lights to turn.

“You okay?” He asked.

I nodded, “Just fine.” It was then I felt the emotion rush over me. I realized that maybe all I need to know is that Bowman is happy with his life now and that he maybe treasures those few months we were us as much as I do. Maybe all I need to think is that he is proud I'm riding, just maybe. And sometimes all I need is the reassuring feel of his hand on my knee when I am on the bike and scared.

I realized then that sometimes people can’t love you the way you want them to, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you the best they know how.
..
....
......

We rolled forward, through Sturgis and Deadwood, up through the hills and across the Pectola Reservoir, and finally into Hill City. The Sportster cruised nicely along, giving me no fuss. The rush of closure and happiness brought me to tears a couple of times. I was thankful for my big sunglasses, because I knew the guys wouldn’t be able to see me cry.

When a big logging truck came rushing up on us I felt his hand on my knee and could almost hear him smile and say "you are going to be just fine. Don't be scared."

In the end I survived my first trip on my own bike, I mustered a 100 miles even though there are no words to explain how sore I was the next day, and along the way I found the final piece I had been searching for.

Will I ever stop loving Bowman?    Probably not.

Will I let that stop me from loving someone else?  No

Am I hopeful that at some point our paths will join back up?   Of course, I still feel as if he’s the other half of my soul.

Am I in a rush for it to happen?   Not anymore…

No right now I am going to teach myself how to love again, I’m going to enjoy being friends with him, and attempt to fix the friendship. I’m going to learn how to become a better and more confident rider, and even a better person as a whole. But most of all I am going to find the passion for life I’ve been missing since things fell apart in October.

All because of that first ride last summer and those tense hands on black leather.
All because of a love that taught me who I was meant to be…. 
All because I want to be a “Biker Bitch” (also my Momma’s saying).

But mostly because of The Sportster and the unanswered prayer…

The Sportster: Deadwood Weekend con't

It ended right there in Deadwood. I didn’t have the energy to go out to dinner or even to go out and party, which is what Deadwood, is all about. Instead I lay on the cold tile floor and realized how fucked up everything really was. I realized that I was hanging on to something that would probably never be again. I realized that I could learn to love someone else, even if it wasn’t instant, even if it wasn’t as passionately, I could love again.

Eventually I crawled into bed and turned on the T.V. I have become accustom to the room, I know that occasionally there is a bump, it’s more then likely the old mistress that used to live in the room. I know that outside you can hear the sound of motorcycles riding up and down Main Street. Sometimes if you are real quiet you can hear the party in the streets. I listened to Deadwood and let it soothe me.

Around two in the morning I heard the key slide into the lock on the door. I turned my head and watched as Jay walked through the door. “You still up?” He asked. It was dark in the room; the TV was glowing as a rerun of an old sitcom played.

“Yeah I’m still up.” I said quietly.

He closed the door behind him, walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. “Can we talk?” His voice was quiet; I knew he was sober, but exhausted. I figured he’d been pretty upset to.

“Yeah.” I said sitting up in bed, reaching over to turn the lamp on.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I know you are having a hard time letting go. I just really thought if I showed you how much I love you, you’d get over it.” He said softly, staring at his hands in his lap.

“I haven’t been very fair to you. I am really sorry about what happened. Jay I’m trying to love you. But it’s been hard for me to learn to make space for someone else.” I paused reaching over to touch him. “I’m ready to let go, I want to be with someone who’s going to love me. Who’s going to be with me through everything. I don’t know who that is at this point, but I really want to find out if it’s you.”

He turned on the bed so his eyes met mine, “I love you with everything I have. But Beck if you aren’t willing to let go of the past you won’t be able to love me.”

I nodded agreeing, “give me another chance.”

He smiled as he reached up to touch my cheek, “You are still on your first chance.”

It was that second when I realized what was happening; when I realized that maybe I’m starting to fall for him.

A Bowhunter's Legacy: The End of The Season

My goal for this 3D season was to break 300 in competition. The season is pretty much over with my home shoots being finished this weekend. I still have a couple of shoots to shoot in Omaha and Lincoln and one in Kansas City. However I haven’t broke 300 yet. My last Omaha shoot I shot a 294 and today at home I shot a 297. I’m really close to my goal I just haven’t reached it yet.

The wall shots have gotten to the point where I only hit the wall on the moving bear, usually because I’m leading it to far or not enough. I’m happy with that progress. I’ve also become confident in shooting, I don’t get distracted, I’m there to shoot and nothing is going to get in the way of that. But I am also getting burnt out.

For the last couple of weeks I haven’t had any fun shooting. I’m hoping that once we start playing archery golf that problem will go away. League season is pretty much closed, we are just playing follow the leader on the 3d course until its time to move outside for the summer. Spring turkey season is on right now, if I had a hunting buddy I’d be out shooting right now, but I don’t so I’m not. I’ll save the hunting for the fall. My goal with hunting is to shoot my grand slam this fall and next spring. It requires a Merriam turkey, Rio Grande, Eastern, and Osceola turkey. It’ll require some traveling!

This summer I’ll be shooting the Wild Cat Hills shoot in Scottsbluff and the R100 shoot in Grand Island. I also want to shoot the state games, but I’m pretty hesitant about shooting in that stiff of a competition. However if I don’t step outside of my comfort box I may be stuck as a mediocre shooter for a long time. Guess we will see what happens! Happy Shooting and be sure to stay tuned to the blog for more Bowhunter updates, just cause the season is done doesn’t mean I am too!!!

The Sportster: Deadwood Weekend con't

I’d been crying for awhile when I hard the door open. I listened hoping it wasn’t Jay; I didn’t want him right now. D stepped into view and I sighed. The tears had run out, I was leaning against the bath tub trying to decide if I wanted to talk with Jay at all about it.

“This is kind of a scene from some movie where they are trying to get the drug addict to go into rehab. Except you aren’t a drug addict.” He pushed the toilet seat down and sat on it. “What’s up Baby Girl?”

I shook my head and stared out the bathroom door, “I don’t know.” The voice didn’t seem to be mine. It was full of anger, full of spite, full of hurt and other things.

“Hum.” He folded his hands in his lap and stared at me. “Want to talk about what happened?’

“Not really.” I sighed.

“Okay.” D said shutting his mouth and sitting quietly. He knew me; he knew if he left it, eventually I’d tell him.

We sat quietly for about an hour before I finally broke. “I just can’t let go. I’ve done really well. But I don’t love Jay.”

He sucked his breath in, “sometimes Love isn’t immediate. Sometimes you have to learn to love someone.”

I sat listening to him. I wasn’t in the mood for advice. I didn’t want to talk, I really didn’t want to do anything, all I wanted to do was sit right where I was for the rest of eternity.

“You are probably going to have to let Bowman go.” D said softly. The way you say things to a spoiled toddler when they aren’t about to get their way, the way you say it in an attempt to avoid a melt down and temper tantrum.

“I know.” I said in a quiet whisper, “I had. But after his accident, it all came back.”

D sat quietly for a moment. I knew he didn’t have a pearl of wisdom to give me. He was thinking hard, I knew he was hoping Sonny would give him the right answer. Finally he sighed, “Oh babe.”

I drew my knees up to my chest and leaned my head into them, the tears were back. There wasn’t anything that was going to fix my problem. There wasn’t any fixing things with Jay, I knew that to. So I cried.

To Be Continued…

The Sportster: Deadwood Weekend

It wasn’t long after we arrive in Deadwood when I felt a fight coming on. It’s interesting how that feeling settles into my joints and bones and I can sense it looming. Jay was especially quiet in the truck; he had been since we left Hometown.  D had blabbered on about random things, trying to ease the tension in the truck, and I was left wondering why Jay’s attitude was so stormy. I could have sworn I saw storm clouds looming over his head, lightning bolts striking occasionally.

There wasn’t much of a reason for him to be pissy. We hadn’t run into anyone I knew at the gas station. Bowman hadn’t been anywhere in sight. His attitude was from something he held inside of him.

I stepped out of the truck at the hotel and sighed. The cool Blackhills air hit me and relaxed my nerves. I grabbed my luggage and attempted to avoid setting off Jay, “here let me get it.” He said as I pulled it out of the truck. His tone was cold; I felt it pierced every muscle as it hit me.

D walked into the hotel leaving the two of us at the truck. He said it before I could ask what was wrong, “Why do you still have that picture in your room?”

My head spun trying to remember what picture he was talking about. Then it hit me, tucked away in my scrapbook from last year was a couple of pictures of me and Bowman on his bike. “Those are in my scrapbook. Why were you in it?” I asked.

“I asked you a question first.” He said.

“They are in my book because that’s one of my first motorcycle rides.” I said as I took my luggage from him and tried to avoid the fight.

For some reason I always end up in the same hotel room in Deadwood. I asked D if he had requested it, he shook his head no and looked at me like I was crazy. I dropped my bag on the floor and walked into the bathroom, making sure to close the door behind me. I'm familiar enough with the room to know that if you don't latch it, it has a tendency to swing open.

I could hear Jay wrestling his luggage; I knew the argument wasn’t over yet.  Staring into the mirror I attempted to steel my nerves.

“You can’t avoid it the whole weekend!” Jay said through the door. “If you are still in love with him I need to know.”

It pissed me off, his remarks. We’d been through the conversation about Bowman before. I was attempting to move on, to put him in the past and work on building the future with Jay. I swung the door open and stared at him, “I don’t feel like having this conversation with you right now. If you are going to be an ass all weekend you can stay over in D’s room.”

He blinked at me, “I guess that’s my answer right there.” He stood up, grabbed his luggage, and left the room.

My knees buckled under me and I sunk to the cold tile floor and cried, cried hard, the hardest I’ve cried since the Breakup. I missed him…

To Be Continued . . .

Where Have You Been???

I’ve been away for what seems like an eternity.  I got home from Deadwood and was thrown right into the fire. My uncle from Wisconsin is here, it’s been nice to spend some time with just him. We went up to Neighbor’s early branding, settled the new lease agreement, and wormed horses.

The second half of my Deadwood Experience with the Sportster will be up in a few days, once I have some time to sit down and write it. This weekend is the final AAC shoot, so I’ll have two new posts from A Bowhunter’s Legacy. So, no, I haven’t disappeared, I’m just not sure if I found a rope or lost my horse!!!

Talk to you soon!

Beck

The Sportster: Deadwood

D and Jay showed up in the driveway Sunday morning at seven. I heard Grandma welcome them before I realized who it was. I was still in bed, attempting to get over my hangover. “Is Beck here?” D asked.

“Yeah she’s back in her room.” Grandma said.

I heard someone open the gate and sighed, wishing they’d just let me sleep. There was a knock on the door, “come in.” I said quietly.

The room flooded with light as the door opened, “Hey you.” Jay said as he closed the door behind him.

I could immediately smell his cologne, “How come you are here?”

“Well I’m happy to see you too.” He said as he sat down on the bed next to me.

“I’m sorry Honey, I had a lot to drink last night.” I whispered.

He smiled as he brushed my bangs off of my face, “It’s okay. D and I thought we’d steal you away.”

I laughed, “Steal me away huh. Where are we going?”

He thought about it for a moment, “How about Deadwood?”

I lay in bed quietly for awhile weighing my options. I could stay and deal with my family or I could disappear for a few days and let them fight without me, “sold.”

He laughed, “We brought the bikes. You wanna ride up or haul them up?”

I laughed as I sat up and said in a mocking tone, “Real bikers don’t haul there bikes. Did you bring The Sportster?”

He nodded his head, “But you don’t want to ride that far do you?”

I shook my head, “No but I was hoping I could do some riding.”

“Why don’t we take the truck up then, that way we have all the bikes up there.” He said, ignoring my comment from earlier.

“Yeah that’s fine.” I reached over and turned the lamp on. My head immediately pounded. “Just give me some time to pack.”

“You don’t need the whole room.” He said with a laugh.

“Smart ass.” I said as I put my contacts in.

He smiled and kissed me, “missed you.”

I kissed him back, “I missed you too.”

To Be Continued…

The Sun Card

"The future of the Sun card could represent the first ray of light at the end of a long, cold, lonely period. You are most probably heading straight toward the light and, step by step, leaving the memories of cold despair behind. In this aspect the Sun card can bring love or financial gain to you with little effort. Whether the literal elements of nature are involved or it was a storm of the soul, when this card represents your future, it brings a powerful radiance of hope. "

"That's all we ever dream about isn't it? Someone who looks into our soul and sees something worth keeping"

The New Life: ... x2

“It’s called a residual haunting. But are you sure you didn’t imagine this?” Beans asked as I sat on her patio.

I shook my head, “they were as real as you and me.” I said quietly. “But I thought a residual haunting usually happened after someone died.”

“No the theory is a residual haunting is like a video tape. Something in the atmosphere recorded it and it just plays over and over. Usually they are events that have a lot of emotion in them.” She said as she handed me a glass of ice tea.

I took it and stared out across her yard, “Interesting.”

“Residual haunting is most common after a traumatic event, that day wasn’t tragic.” She said, almost speaking to herself, “I suppose it could have been triggered by the energy you carry around with you. I wonder if it would happen to someone else.”

I sat quietly listening to her babble.

“How would you feel if I came out to see if it happened to me?” She asked.

I shrugged, “if you want to.”

She nodded, “I do.”

“Does it mean something?” I asked.

She shrugged, “It could have a possible meaning. If you really heard yourself on that day then it wasn’t a residual haunting.” She paused thinking, “let’s see what happens when I get out there.”

I nodded, hoping I wasn’t going crazy...

The New Life: ...

Maybe I’ve just lost all of my marbles…

I’ve always been what my Momma and Beans call sensitive. Not emotionally sensitive, I’m that too, but what we are talking about is sensitive to paranormal things. I had my first “experience” when I was fourteen. An striking man, probably in his twenties, walked up to me at the barn I was working in, he asked me where Rita was, I had no idea, there wasn’t a Rita in the barn, horse or human. He shook his head in frustration, mumbled a curse word and walked on past me; he faded as he reached the office door down the aisle. Two weeks later Rita arrived at the barn, she was about my mom’s age. Over time I built a friendship with her and learned she had once shown horses for this barn. Her father had learned she was planning on marrying the groom at the barn and shipped her off to another family member in Long Island. She’d never seen Mark again. I never told her I’d seen him.

A few months ago I had an experience with a friend. She showed up at the store, recognized me immediately and we caught up on old times. She had walked in the door like any normal person, but she had walked in almost knowing I was there. A few days later her brother called me to tell me she’d been killed, in a riding accident in Kansas, the same day I had seen her.

Sensitive, that’s what they call it...

The first time I sat in the clearing with Bowman I heard something move through the fallen leaves. I felt a presence of something there, something watching us. I had turned my head and looked but there was nothing there, at the time I had thought it was just a bunny moving through the grass. I hadn’t given it a second thought, until today.

For some reason today I didn’t go directly to the clearing. Instead I walked quietly through the rest of the trees. I took my time, simply enjoying the day and the little yellow finches in the trees. Alongside the trail a weasel ran up a tree and stared at me. As I walked past him he squealed, leapt off the tree and ran across the ground. I chuckled to myself and watched him run.

I stopped by the pond and watched the returning ducks lazily swim across the surface. There was a quiet whisper and I turned my head, wondering where it had come from, who had dared to intrude on my place. I followed the sound quietly and realized it was coming from the clearing.

My heart beat hard in my chest. I saw myself first and then him. I froze where I was and stared for a moment, “what is happening?” I thought to myself.

I sat down in the grass and watched. I stared trying to decide if I was hallucinating. The past me turned her head and looked around, the same way I had that day. My eyes brushed over where I was sitting and looked back at Bowman.

I stayed where I was and watched the figures until they got up and walked away. A few steps past me they faded. My heart pounded hard in my chest, I stood up and walked over to the clearing, unsure of what had just happened.

It was then I knew that only Beans would have the answer... If she hadn’t already told me…

From The Saddle: The Upcoming Rodeo

In a few weeks I will bite the bullet and start riding my fillies. I’m expecting a rodeo and sure hope I can get some help on the day I decide to take the first rides on them. Guess I’m going to have to make some phone calls. But I wanted to introduce you to them, ya’ll are probably going to be hearing a lot about them soon!

This is Red Ass Rhubarb, or Ruby. If you are wondering where the name came from it’s my favorite wine. This filly was Bowman’s birthday present last year. She was out of one of my favorite mares, and I thought it’d be a great gift for him.

It’s been close to seven months since I gave her to Bowman and really started working with her. She used to be hesitant with me, she didn’t want to be haltered, and she didn’t want anything to do with a saddle. I’m overly pleased with how well she’s come along in the short amount of time I’ve been working her. She still doesn't want to stand to have her feet trimmed, it's something we are working on. I think I’ll keep her around for a little while longer, we’ll see what happens, I’d love for him to be able to ride her and enjoy her, after all I did hand select her for him…

This is Legado De La Luna, or Luna. She’s my baby. She and Ruby are both the same age and are both coming along nicely. She’s getting stocky like a Spanish mustang would. I adore her and her personality. Luna is named after the only other mare I ever got along with, Moon. She too will start her saddle training in a couple of weeks, I’m really excited to start riding her. I’m sure it will be a battle since nothing else has been so far, I had her haltered the second time I touched her and I’ve laid the saddle on her numerous times.

The Truth About Fairy Tales